Tag: hope

Posted on

OVERCOMING DEPRESSION #101

Image of depressed woman

Do you remember that those first holidays during COVID?  High hopes that COVID would be over by Thanksgiving and Christmas that year. But no, the holidays came and went. Isolation.  I vividly recall the shots of the vehicles outside the hospital in NYC.  Bodies were being stored there because there just wasn’t enough time or resources for funerals.  Merry Christmas.

THE RABBIT HOLE

Then came daily news briefings by our State’s Governor (just in case no one had noticed the State of Emergency).  News was never good.  Along with millions of others I was depressed. It wasn’t the first time I ever went through depression and it certainly has not been the last, but this was memorable. Many peoples’ mental and emotional states of health accompanied me down the rabbit hole. 

NOT THE OCCASIONAL DOWN DAY

Depression is not an occasional down day, a minor bump in the road.  Rather, depression is a visitor that overstays its welcome.  Eviction notices are necessary. There are many symptoms, but one may lose interest in doing what was formerly enjoyable, energy goes down the drain, a general sense of hopelessness pervades the atmosphere and life stinks. 

THE DARK HOLE

It is a dark and lonely place, especially for a believer in Jesus Christ.  The hole is so dark that all hope of rescue evaporates. This condition is especially a rude awakening if one has never previously experienced it. It may seem to come out of nowhere. One feels locked in. What does a person do if they feel like there are blindly trying to find their way out of a sealed room?

YOUR INVITATION

Depression has been an unwanted houseguest in my life since childhood.  Yes, COVID amplified it, but I was abundantly acquainted with depression way before any virus entered the picture.  Beloved friend, please walk with me these coming weeks as we explore possibilities in finding better healthier ways of coping with depression. We will be exploring possibilities for discovering hope in the next few weeks in the blogs I publish on Thursdays.

ABUNDANCE IS POSSIBLE

I want you to know that there is hope, even if you don’t feel like hope is a part of your experience anymore. My goal is that you would gradually discover your way toward the abundant life you had envisioned. Have to tell you that what God may define as abundant life and what you had planned as abundant life may be totally different scenarios, but I know from my own experience that God’s plans are extraordinarily good.

Assignment #1

Read “Martin Luther’s Shelter Amid the Flood of Depression”.  You may appreciate by beginning the paragraph headed “Plague, Sickness, Depression”. It spoke to me. Break out your songbook for this one. You are not alone in this.  Depression has haunted the ages but let’s begin to kick its butt.

Please write to me more questions, comments, and stories. We are in this together.

Posted on

WHILE YOU ARE WAITING

Image of person waiting
Image of woman waiting

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.

Image of person in mudpit

He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.

Image of Jesus walking alongside

He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. 

Image of music

He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.

Image of many worshipping

Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord. (Psalm 40:1-3)

Posted on

SKATING ON A POND WITH THE PLYMOUTH

Image of snow covered road

How long does it take a 1953 grey Plymouth station wagon to break through the ice and sink to the murky bottom of a pond?  That fearful question engulfed our hearts as we filled the car with screams.  The wailing voices belonged to my two sisters, mother and myself.  The one not shrieking in fear was the madman at the wheel, my smirking father.

THE STATION WAGON ON THE POND

It was a cold winter afternoon and we were out on a family drive. We made a side trip to the family farm.  I am clueless how my dad persuaded Mother that he needed to drive down the lane behind barn. Daddy then proceeded to drive off the path, continued up and over the bank and landed on the frozen surface of the pond.  How could the ice support the weight of a 3,019 pound station wagon?

LAVERNE, GET OFF THE ICE!

My mother yelled at my father, “LaVerne, get off the ice!!!”  My sisters and I pictured the ice cracking and our car sinking into the frigid depths.  I was a little girl bundled into a bulky cumbersome snowsuit and not dressed for swimming through icy waters!  He must have braked the car at that point because I remember Mother, my sisters and I shoving open the car doors and running for our lives to the safety of the pond’s bank.

EASY TO DRIVE DOWN BUT NOT BACK UP

My father would normally have been celebrating his feat of reckless courage, however at that point he realized while it was easy to drive down the bank onto the ice, it was another matter to drive the car off the ice and up and over the bank of the pond.  The wheels of the heavy car struggled to gain traction.  After repeated tries, somehow Daddy managed to find enough momentum to drive off the pond. 

NOT SPOKEN OF AGAIN

Alongside his now traumatized family, my dad celebrated his bravery by building a fire on the pond’s bank.  We roasted hot dogs and drank hot chocolate and didn’t speak of it again.

I grew up in a household in which we were religious, but not trusting. Cared for physically, but not necessarily, emotionally.  There were a great many things never spoken of, never shared, and never given.  In other words, I never quite knew where I stood as a child, a daughter. 

I wish I had known where to find the kind of love my heart longed for. I needed Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Or better yet: Psalm 121: 1 I look up to the mountains—does my help come from there? 2 My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! 3 He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. 4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. 5 The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. 6 The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. 7 The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. 8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.

These are promises needed when the waters run cold and deep and the shore seems so very far away.

Posted on

REMEMBER YOUR ROOTS

Image of tree with root system

The previous day had been difficult.  Then that night I had gotten too little sleep, the weather turned cold and rainy.  How comfortable my bed covers felt and how cold the apartment was.  Not a “zippity-do-dah” day!  I wasn’t prepared for what happened at work that morning when I ended up with two phone calls from what I will politely call “screamers”.  Definition: customers who assume if they don’t like the explanation that they should keep ratcheting up the volume hoping to beat the other person into submission. I was rattled.

A BELIEVER IN A VIRULENT SOCIETY

After a few other things that went wrong, I finally arrived home and nestled into the couch.  Within ten minutes, the phone rang and it was just what Doctor God ordered.  My friend at the other end is also a believer who also finds the work world, especially in the existing culture, challenging. We had a lively discussion regarding what it means to be a believer in a hostile and increasingly virulent society.  If you still exist in a sunny bubble where life is not challenging, either the tide will soon turn on you or else Satan doesn’t feel he has much to fight over in your life, especially with the decisions you have been making.

CHURCH LIFE CAN BE MESSY

What does God say in light of this? “Remember your roots.” It’s not an hourlong sermon. A common theme to the letters to the 7 churches in the beginning of the Book of the Revelation is that church life can be really messy.  False teachers and heresies were coming out of the woodwork, people were getting caught up in following their culture, and a great deal of believers were drifting along with sin.  Many were floating along with the current without making waves over what was right and wrong.

ALMOST DEAD

In Revelation chapter 3:1-3 is the note for the church at Sardis: I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive—but you are dead.  Wake up! Strengthen what little remains, for even what is left is almost dead. I find that your actions do not meet the requirements of my God.  Go back to what you heard and believed at first; hold to it firmly. Repent and turn to me again. If you don’t wake up, I will come to you suddenly, as unexpected as a thief.

NO ONE PLANS ON LIVING SPIRITUALLY DEAD

“Dead” is not exactly a stellar description. Goggle defines the word as: “deceased, extinct, lifeless, referring to something that does not have or appear to have life. Dead is usually applied to something that had life but from which life is now gone.” I don’t think anyone in Sardis ever got up in the morning and planned that day to live as if they were spiritually dead, however they had slowly adopted a new persona. God was fed up.  He was saying, “Run back to the basics! Remember what it felt like to be spiritually new in Christ?  Recall what you earlier would have staked your life on? Turn around back to Me.  If you don’t, things will definitely not go well.” (My paraphrase).

SPACE IN BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL

I recently read a well-researched novel about the persecution of the Jews in WWII. The plot’s location is Poland, where at least 3,000,000 Jewish people lost their lives.  This quote stayed with me: “There is evil and there is good and there is the space between.  We are given free will to choose where we stand. Evil thrives when good men choose the space between.” Barratt, Amanda. Within These Walls of Sorrow: A Novel of World War II Poland)

THERE IS HOPE

To those of us who have been merely floating along with the current, there is hope. In Revelation 3:19-21, Christ says: I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference. “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne.”

RUN BACK TO YOUR FIRST LOVE

Yes, as a believer, maybe you are having a rough time right now.  I believe that life will grow increasingly difficult.  However, don’t just walk, but run back to your First Love, Jesus Christ.  Let Him give you the backbone you need and the wisdom for these times.  There will be lots of days ahead that will rattle the bones of all believers.  Remember your roots!

Posted on

LISTEN FOR THE SKYKLARK

I talked to a friend recently about the shutting down of businesses in her home town.  Crime has gotten so bad that even the Walmarts have closed their doors.   Cracker Barrel has also shut down, however my friend didn’t even know they had a Cracker Barrel, so that point was moot. A spirit of fear can fill our hearts.

A SURVIVOR

Corrie Ten Boom was a survivor of Ravensbrück concentration camp. If ever there was a place for fear, it resided at that death camp.  The largest concentration camp for women in the German Reich, it was second in size only to the women’s camp in Auschwitz. The first prisoners interned at Ravensbrück were approximately 900 women in May 1939. By the end of 1942, the female inmate population of Ravensbrück had grown to about 10,000. In January 1945, the camp had more than 50,000 prisoners, mostly women. Can you imagine the despondency, terror, and desperation of the women interned there?

A BIRD SONG

Corrie recorded in her memoirs regarding Ravensbrück,“Once, while we were on a roll call, a cruel guard kept us standing for a long, long time. Suddenly, a skylark began to sing in the sky, and all the prisoners looked up to listen to that bird’s song. As I looked at the bird, I saw the sky and thought of Psalms 103:11. “O love of God, how deep and great; far deeper than man’s deepest hate.” God sent that skylark daily for three weeks, exactly during roll call, to turn our eyes away from the cruelty of man to the oceans of His love.”

FORGOTTEN WORDS

Has God sent a skylark to you during this past year?  Maybe you have forgotten to look up and to listen.  Maybe you have forgotten to let Him drill into your soul these truths: “For the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything he does. He loves whatever is just and good; the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth. The Lord merely spoke, and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. He assigned the sea its boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs. Let the whole world fear the Lord, and let everyone stand in awe of him. For when he spoke, the world began! It appeared at his command. The Lord frustrates the plans of the nations and thwarts all their schemes. But the Lord’s plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken. (Psalm 33:4-11) Listen for the skylark!

For further reflection, read This is My Battle Cry

Posted on

WHEN THE TRAIN GOES OFF THE TRACKS

Image of derailed train

It was one of those weeks. Tired, frustrated, exhausted.  Bummer day after bummer day.  Days when I felt not only like I’m not hitting the mark, but I didn’t even know what the target was.  It’s not that bad to have an occasional “off” day, but a row of them takes its toll. I’ve been on this track before.  Discouragement leads to depression, which leads to darkness, which leads to the pit. The train’s off the tracks. I’ve been derailed.

GOD IS RAINING ON MY PITY PARADE

How dare the psalmist write Psalm 96?  Verse after verse, he describes a party that is in full swing.  There’s a whole lot of singing, praising, exclaiming, offering, and worshipping.  Reading those words, I realize that God is raining on my pity parade.  He is transporting me from my circumstances to Who He really is.  It doesn’t matter what my friends, co-workers, acquaintances, or what the world news is saying.  The truth of the matter, in the midst of my mess, “The Lord reigns!”  God is not asking me my opinion or my take on my circumstances.  He reigns.

WE CAN ENDURE!

I’m to exist in the truth that “He will judge the world with justice and the nations with His truth.”  Can you hear this thundering in the distance? The roar of the angels? God’s purpose steamrolling down the tracks? Through the clouds He will lead us, straight into glory. Finally, all the evil and craziness of this world will be terminated because there He reigns, forevermore, oh, forevermore. We can endure!

JOIN THE CHOIR

Believers are offered the power to wait, by the grace of God, with patience so that not one minute is wasted that God gives us on this earth, no matter the adversity we face. As I’m writing this, the train has not arrived, but it is very close and I can see it in the distance. He will soon be coming. Yes, even though my vocal cords may be unwilling, I will “sing a new song to the Lord!” Read Psalm 96. Are you choosing to join in with the choir?

For Further Reading: Win the World With Singing

Posted on

MY GROANINGS

Image of woman crying

Have you ever looked back at your prayer life and come to the realization, “I’m so glad that God didn’t answer my prayers the way that I wanted”? As early as I can remember, I found my identity in music – directing choirs, coordinating productions, coaching and teaching vocal students, and performing solo.  If you had asked me who I was, the word “musician” probably would have been in the first sentence. Then God slowly pulled me away, kicking and screaming, from that world. It was my season of groanings.

GOD WAS SHUTTING THE DOORS

Yes, I knew Jesus as Savior but I had no idea how I still fit into God’s plan. I felt robbed by God.  About 1/3 of my singing voice had departed due to overuse.  Due to arthritis, a lot of my instrumental skills were out the door.  With my eye issues, I even had trouble reading straight across a musical page.  What a mess! No matter how I prayed, God was shutting doors. It was not pretty.

HOW DOES THE SPIRIT PRAY FOR US

While I was groaning about this, God was patient.  I had fast lost patience with Him, but He still loved me, even though it took so long for my groaning to become God-centered instead of me-centered.  John Piper writes regarding Romans 8:18-27: How does the Spirit pray for us, is that He moves powerfully in our hearts to create groanings – His groanings experienced as our groanings – which are based on two things: 1) a deep desire and ache of heart that Christ be magnified in our lives, and 2) a weakness that leaves us baffled and unknowing as to how this is going to happen or should happen. So we are not sure how we are to pray, but we are sure that we want Christ to be magnified in our bodies.

GOD’S SPIRIT FOR US AND NOT AGAINST US

The Father searches our heart and he hears this groaning. He hears the Christ-exalting yearning in it, and He hears the Spirit’s clear intention that certain decisions and circumstances come about in the exact way that will bring the most glory to Jesus. One of the reasons this matters so much is that it means that in the very moment of some of our deepest frustrations, our groanings are the very work of God’s Spirit FOR us and not against us.

MY GROANS WERE NOT HIS GROANS

Daily, during that time, I commuted to work in tears because I deeply missed both music and the classroom.  The Holy Spirit heard a whole of groaning coming from me while I was making the drive to work.  God was not heartless.  God was not deaf.  However, my heart didn’t really want to hear God’s plan.  My heart was deaf.  I wanted the familiar; not the unknown. My groans were not His groans.

BECAUSE OF THE DOORS GOD SHUT

I’m so glad that He stuck with me as my Abba Father. I could never have imagined the life I have today because of the doors God shut. God has opened an entire new world for me in knowing Him better.  He has given me huge opportunities in writing. I even have the privilege to coach others in writing, seeing them grow into far better writers than I will ever be. One of my greatest joys is that I also get to work as a shepherd, helping to draw women closer to knowing the Good Shepherd.  God has given me a front row seat in seeing His hand mend lives in ways I could have never imagined. 

GROANINGS FOR THE GLORY OF CHRIST

I wish someone would have told me these words of wisdom: experience the wordless groanings of your heart as groanings for the glory of Christ. And trust the Spirit of God to intercede for you about the specifics. Trust Him, that because He is praying for you, your Father will bring about decisions and circumstances that will magnify Christ in the best way – in the very midst of your ignorance and groaning.

FOR US AND NOT AGAINST US

I am strong willed, thick headed, and often dumb as a doornail, however God has plans that exceed anything we could even imagine. Would I want to repeat the seasons of intense pain? No!  However, they have been necessary for God to bring me into this new season, the best season of all.  I just had to realize that in the very moment of some of our deepest frustrations, our groanings are the very work of God’s Spirit FOR us and not against us.

Posted on

GOD’S PLAN FOR A GREY AND RAINY DAY

Image walking through a rainstorm

The day was grey and rainy.  Perfect for staying in bed and shutting out the world.  No way did I feel like running towards life with a big enthusiastic grin on my face, eager to take on all its challenges.  Due to extensive pain, I could barely move.  It was a time in which I would have appreciated all the sandpaper people in my life to leave town. Why didn’t God’s plan line up with mine?

MY GOD IS A STEAMROLLER

Isaiah 45:2b-3 describes some of God plans for me: I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars. I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. (NASB)  My God is a steamroller smashing those things that cause me terror in the night.  He is a Bulldozer with a plan, despite my pain.

I ARGUE WITH GOD

Yet, it is disconcerting when I look at the last part of this passage. Verse 9: What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’ That’s my whole attitude in a nutshell.  I argue with God when I don’t think that things are going my way.  I accuse God of bad planning. I have forgotten Who He is.

WHY DOES GOD ASK ME TO PERSEVERE

I don’t want to go through seasons of darkness; those times when life seems filled with more than a soul can bear.  Those periods when one’s faith (or lack thereof) is stripped to the core.  Why does God ask me to persevere? It is His promise: I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. There are untold riches that can only be uncovered by walking through the depths; through those seasons when we just don’t have any more strength, any more smiles, any more anything.

I TRULY GET TO KNOW WHO GOD IS

These difficult seasons are when I really get to know Who He is.  When I come to the end of myself and stop pretending that I am strong, smart and resourceful. That is when I truly get to know God.  The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.  Wow – He knows my name and He calls me even though He knows how frail I am.  The journey may not be pretty and the landscape may appear bleak, but I dearly want to know this amazing God, regardless of the pain and discomfort I will meet along the way. He really does have a plan. I guess it is worth getting out of bed after all.

A classic book that may lift your spirits: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=tramp+for+the+lord+corrie+ten+boom+book

A podcast that may open your eyes: https://compelledpodcast.com/episodes/todd-nettleton

Posted on

THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

The young man was in his early thirties; the prime of his life. Everyone remarked on his eloquence, his love for the unlovable, his inability to lie.  Jesse’s friend were devastated when he was suddenly diagnosed with a terminal disease.  His death was not one of those Hallmark movies of quiet lovely goodbyes.  No, Jesse suffered terribly.  The end finally came.  At the service, hundreds of people went through the visitation line to pay their last respects. All those in hearing distance were shocked when an individual in line jumped up in the air with a fist pump and yelled, “Whoo-hoo! Jesse’s died!  This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”

PETER WANTED TO STAY WITH JESUS

That attitude of that one person in line is the mindset that Jesus was describing in John 16.  Jesus was trying to prepare His disciples for the coming days, the tumult of the coming crucifixion, the resurrection and the aftermath. However, the Apostle Peter simply did not want to hear it.  Peter was probably sticking his fingers in his ears, loudly humming and ignoring the words of Jesus.  His objections may have been: “So what’s going to happen to us? Things are fine as they are.”  Afterall, they had invested three years of their lives in Jesus.  Peter didn’t want things to change; he wanted to stay with Jesus.

THE MAJOR ADVANTAGE TO JESUS’ DEPARTURE

Despite Peter’s objections, in the Gospel of John, chapter 16, Jesus began to point out one of the major advantages to His departure – the arrival of the Holy Spirit (Advocate; Comforter).  All believers for centuries to come would be blessed even more by the arrival and indwelling of the Holy Spirit. This far outnumbers the few who received the opportunity to live with Jesus during those three years.

THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO LOVERS OF JESUS

The norm of the disciples was to be afraid, awkward, self-centered, and immature before Jesus’ death and resurrection, .  After Jesus’ departure and the blessed arrival of the Holy Spirit in the upper room, believers became wise, loved unselfishly, gave freely and were courageous.  The difference was night and day.  We could rephrase the loud declaration at Jesse’s funeral to: “Whoo-hoo!  This was the best thing that ever happened to lovers of Jesus!” I wonder if there were some fist pumps in the Upper Room?

EVERY WORD OF TRUTH IS OFFERED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT

Those in the Upper Room now experienced that the words of the Father which had been passed to the Son were now passed to the Holy Spirit Who then gives them to all believers.  This was a whole new playing field. Christ followers who walk by faith in obedience to the Father were now to be guided by the Holy Spirit in all truth.  Let me repeat – every word of truth which our Heavenly Father wisely decides we need He offers us by the Holy Spirit.  Whoo-hoo!!!!

GOD WHISPERED IN MY EAR

One of my most vivid memories as a new a believer was opening my Bible to read one of the letters to the Church of Corinth.  No longer were the words dry. God physically pulled me close and whispered in my ear.  All those words on the page, God now made alive to me.  This was the best thing that ever happened to me.  Whoo-hoo!!

THE BEST COMPANION/TEACHER EVER

The greatest thing is that the indwelling of the Holy Spirit has had a broader and more effective ministry across the world to millions of believers than what the Apostle Peter could ever have imagined in his daily life during Jesus’ three-year ministry tour on earth.  Millions of us can yell “This is the best thing that has ever happened to us! We have been given the best Companion/Teacher ever – the Holy Spirit. Whoo-hoo!” Is there a fist pump out there?

Posted on

WEAK, BUT STRONG

When I entered this past September, I experienced great deal of panic that I couldn’t keep up with life or my schedule.  I was still dragging from the pulmonary embolism. My responsibilities were exploding on my calendar.  How could I keep up? I honestly looked at the month and quaked with fear. Facing my anxieties and handing all those commitments over to God, I entered the month.  I expected to end the month alive…..but barely.

THE GOD MOMENTS

This morning, Sept. 30th, I was taking a tally of the number of God moments which happened during the month. I was honestly blown away. God was my Provider, Sustainer, Fortress, Savior, Father, Comforter, Strength-Giver, and Source of all wisdom (besides many other things). 

I FELT LIKE I WAS PLAYING PING-PONG

One of my greatest concerns was that it was my month to I begin leading a new Writing With God session.  Every Thursday evening we would meet for class.  By the following Tuesday each participant was to send me their completed assignment.  I would then write in possible edits and notes and send a return email.  They often would send me a 2nd draft.  I read that submission and emailed back more possible changes. And so it went.  One eager participant loved to send me many drafts.  I felt like I was playing ping-pong.  It took a lot of thought, time, and grace to encourage and correct at the same time. 

WHEN I FELT MY WEAKEST, GOD STOOD FIRM

God was there.  Every moment.  Each week.  I was blown away at the gifting of the new participants and the growth in my regular students.  Their stories made me laugh, cry, and rejoice in their honesty.  What works of grace I was able to read and be part of.   To be able to witness growth in others is always such a bonus.  For me, the greatest miracle was that when I felt my weakest, God stood firm.

I AM HAPPY TO BE WEAK

I can bear witness to the testimony of the Apostle Paul.  He was undergoing a severe health issue which he repeatedly asked God to heal.  Paul wrote that in response to his prayers: He (God) answered me, “I am all you need. I give you My loving-favor. My power works best in weak people.” I am happy to be weak and have troubles so I can have Christ’s power in me.  I receive joy when I am weak. I receive joy when people talk against me and make it hard for me and try to hurt me and make trouble for me. I receive joy when all these things come to me because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinthians 9-10)

I testify that for me this past September, I was weak, but God came out strong loud and clear.

Verified by MonsterInsights