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ARE YOU A TOTO?

Are you familiar with the expression “pulling back the curtain”? It comes from a scene in the movie The Wizard of Oz. Yegor Bugayenko writes: “the intrepid band of adventurers confront the seemingly all-powerful Wizard of Oz, who proceeds to unleash a bombastic tirade on Dorothy and friends. Only, the dog Toto ends up pulling back the curtain, literally, to reveal that the Wizard of Oz is nothing but an ordinary man in a machine.” 

I AM AN IDEALIST

By nature, I am an idealist.  I will always be a “Toto”.  Over the years, I often innocently pulled back a lot of curtains. To my surprise, I discovered individuals who have become lost in believing their own press, their own sycophants.  In their pride, they have become deaf to the voice of reason. Maybe some of you are also “Totos”?

THE RIGGED SYSTEM

I once worked for a large corporation.  Someone in charge had decided that a way to build up morale and teamwork was plan to celebrate an exceptional employee.  Quarterly, a committee appointed by company management, would decide who to give such an honor. A group of management would then parade to the employee’s cubicle, decorate it with balloons and give the individual their congratulations.  On paper, this seemed like a great idea.  However, over time, the committee kept repeatedly recognizing the same people and some of those winners were actually on the committee itself which appointed the winners. The system was rigged and bound for failure.

SOMETHING ROTTEN IN DENMARK

As a Toto, I often assume that if you tell someone that there is a flaw in something, that it will be exposed, there will have dialogue on it and resolution will be found. In the case of the corporation, I wrote the CEO an email regarding the program.  I assumed that he would want to know, as the saying goes, “there was something was rotten in Denmark”. 

THE FATEFUL MEETING

Within days, I found myself having to personally meet the CEO in his lavish office. His assistant ushered me in to the inner sanctum where for the next half hour I was informed by the CEO why the employee award program was a terrific morale booster. I had no idea going in that the program was the CEO’s own brain trust.  It was like I had attempted to murder his favored pet.

TOTO DISCOVERED THE WIZARD

I left his office a little dazed, not realizing that his long harangue was to be the same speech, word for word, that he was going to give at the next company quarterly meeting the following week. At the podium, he publicly patted himself on the back. However, within one year his morale booster hit the dust, being found completely useless in improving the company. “Pride goes before the fall”. Toto had discovered the wizard.

TOTOS ARE NOT POPULAR

In the Christian community, it is not fun to be a “Toto”.  We question inconsistencies, pet projects, and possible fallacies in thinking.  Totos are not popular, no matter how innocently we may enter a conversation with those in power.  I think being a woman Toto encountering male dominated leadership can be especially hazardous.

OPEN THE CURTAINS

As a Christian Toto, I pray, “God help us in these days of darkness and uncertainty.  Please open the curtains, let the Holy Spirit air out our hearts, and drive us to our knees. Expose those who are sadly lost in believing their own press, listening to their own sycophants.  Open their eyes to their pride, as they have become hard of hearing to the voice of the Holy Spirit.”  And so, little Toto continues to pray.

GOD’S PLAN FOR A GREY AND RAINY DAY

The day was grey and rainy.  Perfect for staying in bed and shutting out the world.  No way did I feel like running towards life with a big enthusiastic grin on my face, eager to take on all its challenges.  Due to extensive pain, I could barely move.  It was a time in which I would have appreciated all the sandpaper people in my life to leave town. Why didn’t God’s plan line up with mine?

MY GOD IS A STEAMROLLER

Isaiah 45:2b-3 describes some of God plans for me: I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars. I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. (NASB)  My God is a steamroller smashing those things that cause me terror in the night.  He is a Bulldozer with a plan, despite my pain.

I ARGUE WITH GOD

Yet, it is disconcerting when I look at the last part of this passage. Verse 9: What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’ That’s my whole attitude in a nutshell.  I argue with God when I don’t think that things are going my way.  I accuse God of bad planning. I have forgotten Who He is.

WHY DOES GOD ASK ME TO PERSEVERE

I don’t want to go through seasons of darkness; those times when life seems filled with more than a soul can bear.  Those periods when one’s faith (or lack thereof) is stripped to the core.  Why does God ask me to persevere? It is His promise: I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. There are untold riches that can only be uncovered by walking through the depths; through those seasons when we just don’t have any more strength, any more smiles, any more anything.

I TRULY GET TO KNOW WHO GOD IS

These difficult seasons are when I really get to know Who He is.  When I come to the end of myself and stop pretending that I am strong, smart and resourceful. That is when I truly get to know God.  The Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.  Wow – He knows my name and He calls me even though He knows how frail I am.  The journey may not be pretty and the landscape may appear bleak, but I dearly want to know this amazing God, regardless of the pain and discomfort I will meet along the way. He really does have a plan. I guess it is worth getting out of bed after all.

A classic book that may lift your spirits: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=tramp+for+the+lord+corrie+ten+boom+book

A podcast that may open your eyes: https://compelledpodcast.com/episodes/todd-nettleton

LISTENING TO THE COACH

My youngest son was 6 years old.  He was new to both t-ball, the idea of playing on a team, and working under a coach. The rest of the other little boys seemed to be in the same boat. Doing our duty as parents, we sat on the bleachers under the blazing sun, watching the melee that always broke out whenever a ball was hit into the field.  Something was definitely amiss.  No child was listening to the coach.

a disorganized mess

Like a swarm of bees, the kids in the outfield rushed together, all in hopes of catching the ball.  They tripped over each other in their haste to cross the field. That didn’t count the players who were distracted watching the clouds in the sky or the bugs in the dirt.  It was a disorganized mess.  Concepts of the game, like having positions and certain responsibilities, were unknown to them. Working as a team was something that had to be ground into them for the common good.

many parts….one body

The little boys learning to play t-ball had trouble comprehending the phrase “many parts form one body”. For just as the body is one and yet has many parts, and all the parts, though many, form [only] one body, so it is with Christ (I Corinthians 12:12, Amplified Version). Just like little boys on that t-ball team, the early Christian church also had to learn their positions, their giftings and how they could each contribute to the whole.

who is on the team

The Coach for the church is the Holy Spirit. He has made wonderful and powerful plans.  In His team, it doesn’t matter one’s background, social standing, or their confidence.  The only qualification for membership in God’s team is that a person has repented of their sin and confessed Jesus Christ as their only Savior. The blood of Christ has even given us team uniforms: the righteousness of Christ. The Holy Spirit is the One who bestows on us the gifting and training to play our positions on the team. No member is exempt from playing. 

god’s plan for the team

The church has never been intended to be a picture of those little 6 year olds running willy-nilly over the playing field, not understanding their positions, their giftings or the rules of the game.  Read I Corinthians 12:1-12 to get a glimpse of God’s plan for His team.

serving on the team

How does one discover their position and gift(s) for serving on the team?  Ask the Holy Spirit; after all, He is our Coach. Read deeply the Word of God, seek wise counsel and the prayers of other believers.  It is vital to have a willing spirit to serve wherever God leads you. 

willing to serve

The road to learning to serve can be rather bumpy and humbling. I have made many mistakes learning both what my spiritual gifts are and what they are not. All God has asks is for us to be obedient and willing to serve. 

start listening to the coach

Nothing is better than openly serving on His team.  Who knows what adventures He will lead you to? But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit [the spiritual illumination and the enabling of the Holy Spirit] for the common good. So, stop running all over the field and start listening to the Coach!

For further study: https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/spiritual-gifts and https://www.gotquestions.org/spiritual-gifts.html

BARNEY’S LAST WORDS

Careful words come out of a careful heart. Where exactly was Barney’s heart?

The man approached me as I was standing in the back of the auditorium. I was exhausted as another long Sunday concluded with the evening service.  It was rare that Barney (we’ll give him that name) ever talked to me other than with impersonal greetings. I don’t know what prompted the words that were to come out of his mouth that evening, but I wish that he had ignored the prompts. 

I’VE DECIDED TO FORGIVE YOU

Barney paused, looked me in the eye and said, “I just want you to know that I have had hard feelings against you.  I’ve decided to forgive you.”  And then, he just walked away.  No explanation, no further details. His voice had been quiet, but his words shot an arrow through my heart.

THIS WAS A MAN I BARELY KNEW

I stood there, silently stunned.  What had I done or said to offend Barney in such a way?  Should I run after him and beg him for more information?  This was a man I barely knew other than from high school years ago. I didn’t know the adult version of Barney.  Should I just let sleeping dogs lie? Would further conversation just escalate whatever was going on in his heart?

WAS I JUST COLLATERAL DAMAGE?

In high school Barney had always been a little socially awkward, blurting out whatever he was thinking.  Eventually he had married a woman who was known to be emotionally volatile.  Maybe I had said or done something that got his wife cranked up and Barney had received the fallout? Was I just collateral damage?

HE WALKED AWAY WITH A SMILE

Whatever the reason for his remarks, it appeared that Barney had relieved himself of whatever was burdening him.  He walked away with a smile; free at last.  I didn’t share his elation.

BE CAREFUL LITTLE TONGUE WHAT YOU SAY

I wished Barney had meditated on these lyrics before he approached me that Sunday evening:

Be careful little tongue what you say
For the Father up above
Is looking down in love
So, be careful little tongue what you say

EMPTY VESSELS MAKE THE MOST SOUND

Careful words come out of a careful heart. Where exactly was Barney’s heart? There is a proverb: “Empty vessels make the most sound.”  There may have been no trustworthy spiritual cargo in Barney that Sunday evening. Years later, I wish I had gotten the courage to run after him and ask, “What were you thinking?” But then, making no reply to Barney may have been the best reply.

THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

No longer were the words dry. God physically pulled me close and whispered in my ear. 

The young man was in his early thirties; the prime of his life. Everyone remarked on his eloquence, his love for the unlovable, his inability to lie.  Jesse’s friend were devastated when he was suddenly diagnosed with a terminal disease.  His death was not one of those Hallmark movies of quiet lovely goodbyes.  No, Jesse suffered terribly.  The end finally came.  At the service, hundreds of people went through the visitation line to pay their last respects. All those in hearing distance were shocked when an individual in line jumped up in the air with a fist pump and yelled, “Whoo-hoo! Jesse’s died!  This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”

PETER WANTED TO STAY WITH JESUS

That attitude of that one person in line is the mindset that Jesus was describing in John 16.  Jesus was trying to prepare His disciples for the coming days, the tumult of the coming crucifixion, the resurrection and the aftermath. However, the Apostle Peter simply did not want to hear it.  Peter was probably sticking his fingers in his ears, loudly humming and ignoring the words of Jesus.  His objections may have been: “So what’s going to happen to us? Things are fine as they are.”  Afterall, they had invested three years of their lives in Jesus.  Peter didn’t want things to change; he wanted to stay with Jesus.

THE MAJOR ADVANTAGE TO JESUS’ DEPARTURE

Despite Peter’s objections, in the Gospel of John, chapter 16, Jesus began to point out one of the major advantages to His departure – the arrival of the Holy Spirit (Advocate; Comforter).  All believers for centuries to come would be blessed even more by the arrival and indwelling of the Holy Spirit. This far outnumbers the few who received the opportunity to live with Jesus during those three years.

THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO LOVERS OF JESUS

The norm of the disciples was to be afraid, awkward, self-centered, and immature before Jesus’ death and resurrection, .  After Jesus’ departure and the blessed arrival of the Holy Spirit in the upper room, believers became wise, loved unselfishly, gave freely and were courageous.  The difference was night and day.  We could rephrase the loud declaration at Jesse’s funeral to: “Whoo-hoo!  This was the best thing that ever happened to lovers of Jesus!” I wonder if there were some fist pumps in the Upper Room?

EVERY WORD OF TRUTH IS OFFERED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT

Those in the Upper Room now experienced that the words of the Father which had been passed to the Son were now passed to the Holy Spirit Who then gives them to all believers.  This was a whole new playing field. Christ followers who walk by faith in obedience to the Father were now to be guided by the Holy Spirit in all truth.  Let me repeat – every word of truth which our Heavenly Father wisely decides we need He offers us by the Holy Spirit.  Whoo-hoo!!!!

GOD WHISPERED IN MY EAR

One of my most vivid memories as a new a believer was opening my Bible to read one of the letters to the Church of Corinth.  No longer were the words dry. God physically pulled me close and whispered in my ear.  All those words on the page, God now made alive to me.  This was the best thing that ever happened to me.  Whoo-hoo!!

THE BEST COMPANION/TEACHER EVER

The greatest thing is that the indwelling of the Holy Spirit has had a broader and more effective ministry across the world to millions of believers than what the Apostle Peter could ever have imagined in his daily life during Jesus’ three-year ministry tour on earth.  Millions of us can yell “This is the best thing that has ever happened to us! We have been given the best Companion/Teacher ever – the Holy Spirit. Whoo-hoo!” Is there a fist pump out there?

WEAK, BUT STRONG

My responsibilities were exploding on my calendar.  How could I keep up?

When I entered this past September, I experienced great deal of panic that I couldn’t keep up with life or my schedule.  I was still dragging from the pulmonary embolism. My responsibilities were exploding on my calendar.  How could I keep up? I honestly looked at the month and quaked with fear. Facing my anxieties and handing all those commitments over to God, I entered the month.  I expected to end the month alive…..but barely.

THE GOD MOMENTS

This morning, Sept. 30th, I was taking a tally of the number of God moments which happened during the month. I was honestly blown away. God was my Provider, Sustainer, Fortress, Savior, Father, Comforter, Strength-Giver, and Source of all wisdom (besides many other things). 

I FELT LIKE I WAS PLAYING PING-PONG

One of my greatest concerns was that it was my month to I begin leading a new Writing With God session.  Every Thursday evening we would meet for class.  By the following Tuesday each participant was to send me their completed assignment.  I would then write in possible edits and notes and send a return email.  They often would send me a 2nd draft.  I read that submission and emailed back more possible changes. And so it went.  One eager participant loved to send me many drafts.  I felt like I was playing ping-pong.  It took a lot of thought, time, and grace to encourage and correct at the same time. 

WHEN I FELT MY WEAKEST, GOD STOOD FIRM

God was there.  Every moment.  Each week.  I was blown away at the gifting of the new participants and the growth in my regular students.  Their stories made me laugh, cry, and rejoice in their honesty.  What works of grace I was able to read and be part of.   To be able to witness growth in others is always such a bonus.  For me, the greatest miracle was that when I felt my weakest, God stood firm.

I AM HAPPY TO BE WEAK

I can bear witness to the testimony of the Apostle Paul.  He was undergoing a severe health issue which he repeatedly asked God to heal.  Paul wrote that in response to his prayers: He (God) answered me, “I am all you need. I give you My loving-favor. My power works best in weak people.” I am happy to be weak and have troubles so I can have Christ’s power in me.  I receive joy when I am weak. I receive joy when people talk against me and make it hard for me and try to hurt me and make trouble for me. I receive joy when all these things come to me because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinthians 9-10)

I testify that for me this past September, I was weak, but God came out strong loud and clear.

WHO CAN UNDERSTAND HOW POWERFUL HE IS?

He never reads instructions or watches videos. God just speaks and it is.

It was the pandemic. A lot of us were going stir-crazy. I looked around my living room and was bothered by a rather rough piece of furniture I viewed daily. There was no money to replace it so I thought “Why not refinish it?” I watched YouTube videos and read instructions on how to do the work. I redesigned it in my head.  Then I began the physical work: sanding, stripping it down, taking it apart, painting, and then adding the hardware and coats of sealant.  Never once during this time did I ever go to my back porch (that was my work area), sit there and expect a new piece of furniture to instantly appear.  I needed the materials, the ideas, the sweat equity and the hard work to put the piece together.

I AM POWERLESS

The Holy Spirit’s approach to creation is totally different than mine. He has the ideas, the sweat equity and the hard work, but He is so powerful that He speaks the words and it happens. By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and all the host of them by the breath [Spirit] of His mouth. (Psalm 33:6) God has never had to go to GR Mitchell for His materials. He never reads instructions or watches videos. God just speaks and it is. His words are limitless in their power: He gathers the waters of the sea together as a heap; He lays up the deep in storehouses. (Psalm 33:7) I have never presumed that I could gather up all the oceans in a heap. I am powerless. Often, I have found plenty of furniture projects tedious and frustrating. The Holy Spirit has a different view of work. He doesn’t get burnt out in what He wonderfully creates.  He makes no mistakes, never fumbles, and whatever He does is awesome.  We are the ones that pour the refuse and junk on His creations.

CREATING A WORLD THAT WOULD GO SIDEWAYS

When our earth’s physical clock began ticking at creation, The Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. (Genesis 1:1-2) “Hovering” is the idea of a bird sitting in a nest, sitting and brooding over her eggs, caring for these new little lives. He cares. He cares eternally. Even then, He loved us, even though He knew He was creating a world that would choose to go sideways.

SOFT WHISPERS WE HEAR FROM HIM

If you want to know God better, I especially recommend you read John 38-42. Previous to this, there is one observation of Job regarding God that is spot on: His (God’s) breath made the skies bright and clear.    His hand wounded the serpent that glides through the sea. Those are only on the edges of what He does.    They are only the soft whispers that we hear from Him.    So, who can understand how very powerful He is? (Job 26:13-14 NIRV)

I AM CREATING FURTHER BROKENESS

God, The Holy Spirit, is hovering over your life.  He cares, even when your life goes sideways.  I have found it futile when I spend a lot of time reimagining my own life, stripping it down, taking it apart, painting with a big smile, and sealing it all under my own power. I can make all the resolutions I want, try my hardest, but I am creating further brokenness.  The only One Who can create truly new life in me is the Holy Spirit. He is hovering over me. Are you letting Him hover over you? 

ZIP IT!

Maybe the bar of my expectations was way too high for this conversation. My friend didn’t know when to “zip it”.

We had been worn to the bone by a weekend of health scares. Shortly after, I found myself on the phone with someone who I thought was a friend, not just an acquaintance.  The conversation began by my asking them how they were doing. I took care to listen to their upsetting news concerning their employment.  Apparently, their workplace was going down the tubes.  We meandered through the conversation, got stuck on the individual’s pet’s stomach issues and then finally they came up for air and asked me, “So how are you and your husband doing?” I paused and then gave them a brief synopsis of the turmoil we had recently experienced. 

DIDN’T KNOW WHEN TO ZIP IT

Maybe the bar of my expectations was way too high for this conversation. My friend didn’t know when to “zip it”. In response to my retelling our scary weekend, the person proceeded to inform me, in great detail, anecdotes not necessarily related to what we had experienced. They didn’t ask any questions whatsoever about how we were feeling or coping, and then had the audacity to go back to complaining about their job and animal situation. 

DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?

I wanted to wave a flag, saying, “Did you not hear me?  I’m on blood thinners, had my first significant fall while on thinners, and I was deathly afraid of hemorrhaging.  I was scared.  What you are replying with is telling me the last time you had a minor trip.  Didn’t my fear count anything to you?”

HOW TO RESPOND TO HURTING PEOPLE

Want a handbook on how to respond to hurting people? Let these verses be a foundation:

  • Romans 12:12-15 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. … Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 
  • II Cor 1:3-4 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. (Our pain MATTERS to God and should matter to the family of believers)
  • I John 3:18 Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.  (Actions speak louder than words)

TALK LESS AND BE PRESENT MORE

Rev. Liz Danielsen, Chaplain, and Founder of Spiritual Care Support Ministries says the best gift we can give to the chronically ill (whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually) is time. “Simply saying, ‘I would just like to be with you.’ Jesus did that,” she says. “I think we need to talk less and be present more.”

WITH THEIR MOUTHS SHUT, THEY SEEM INTELLIGENT

Even if my friend did not know what to say during that phone conversation, they could have been so helpful by just listening.  Sometimes just zipping one’s mouth is gold. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. (Proverbs 17:28)

THE RECIPE BOX

I began to question my purpose.  How was I supposed to continue educating these little ones, giving them the love, attention, and care they deserved when my whole world was turned upside down?

Sunday was a good day to make some soup.  The pitter patter of rain on the roof, the gray gloomy clouds darkening the sky, and the cooler temperature made me crave a delicious meal of homemade soup and bread.  I reached for my old-school recipe collection, ready to search for the spinach tortellini soup given to me by a colleague years ago.  My collection is a hodge-podge mess, housed in an old rectangular tin.  The recipes are haphazardly tucked inside following no structure or organization:  hand-written index cards, computer printed papers, recipe cards neatly written from my wedding shower 30 years ago, and many torn from magazines and newspapers.

SUDDENLY THE SEARCH FOR THE RECIPE DIDN’T MATTER

Then I came across a treasure far more outstanding than the tortellini soup recipe I was searching for.  It was a clipping from My Daily Bread dated Sunday, April 27, 2008 entitled “Following God’s Plan”.  Attached to it was a handwritten note from my mother who died ten years previously.  Suddenly the search for the soup recipe didn’t matter. 

TELLING GOD WHAT HER PLAN WAS

The Daily Bread message was about a high school teacher who taught eight years and wanted to quit her job. She needed the money for her family but felt depleted by the pressures of grading papers, lesson planning, and testing.  Feeling desperate, she took off the day from work to evaluate her career.  As she prayed, she realized that she was trying to follow her own lesson plans for her life instead of God’s plan.  All along, she had been telling God what her plan was, instead of asking Him to help find her purpose. 

CHALLENGES BECAME OPPORTUNITIES

She began changing her prayers from “Help me get out of teaching” to “Help me find your purpose for my life.  If it is to be a teacher, help me to accept it.”  Over time, her attitude toward her job began to improve.  Challenges became opportunities for growth.  Even though many days still brought stress and exhaustion, she had a renewed sense of hope knowing God’s purpose was clear. 

I BEGAN TO QUESTION MY PURPOSE

After my son died two and a half years ago from leukemia, I went back to the classroom teaching second grade.  I began to question my purpose.  How was I supposed to continue educating these little ones, giving them the love, attention, and care they deserved when my whole world was turned upside down?  How was I supposed to compartmentalize my grief so that my children didn’t see this side of their teacher? 

MEANT TO BE SHARED

While I continue to wrestle with these challenges, I know God hears my cries.  Sending me this little reminder tucked inside the recipe box was His way of telling me that He is in control and His plans for my life are so much bigger than mine.  1 Corinthians 12:4-6 reads, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.” Gifts given to us are not meant for us to keep, instead, they are meant to be shared.

GOD’S PURPOSE IS CLEAR

My mom, who had left the note, who was also a former teacher.  She wrote, “Kimmy, I know you were meant to be a teacher and God’s purpose is clear. Peace. Love, Mom.” 

ASK GOD TO HELP YOU

Are you struggling with your job or circumstances in life? Give up trying to make your own plan for your life.  Instead, ask God to help you to know the plan He has for you.  May you find fulfillment in the work that you do, knowing God’s purpose is clear. As the soup simmered on the stove, I thanked God for nourishing my soul with an unexpected message from my dear departed mom.

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

This ordinarily would not be that big a thing, but I am on blood thinners for my pulmonary embolisms.  Bleeding out internally is always a danger.

The series of unfortunate events began Friday.  We found ourselves again in Urgent Care because Bill’s blood pressure was spiking for unknown reasons.  Immediately I commenced sending out distress texts to my friends who know Jesus. They prayed. The hospital eventually released Bill.  This time we got to drive home together, rather than the previous time when they kept him overnight for observation.

I AM ON BLOOD THINNERS

The next day was Saturday.  We stopped at a roadside stand.  Who would have known disaster could strike at Meck’s Produce? While I was looking around outside, Bill was already inside the building.  As I went to enter the store, there was an older lady with a cane trying to exit.  I stepped out of her way, clueless that directly behind me was a pallet of pumpkins (or large gourds).  I tripped and fell headlong into the display.  Did you know that the necks of pumpkins can be rock hard?  One of them gave a direct hit to my ribcage.  This ordinarily would not be that big a thing, but I am on blood thinners for my pulmonary embolisms.  Bleeding out internally is always a danger.

WHAT TO DO?

The pain was intense and I hobbled into the store.  Happy shopper Bill had missed my pumpkin collapse.  He looked up and quickly got us into the car. I didn’t know whether to go to the ER or to go home.  The pain was about a level 15 on the scale. What to do?  I needed help.  Immediately, I sent out more distress texts, especially since the next day I was scheduled to give a speech for the bride at a wedding reception.

I JUST HAD TO WHISPER “HELP!”

My friends were praying, but even more powerful is that the Holy Spirit was already praying for us.  Romans 8: 26-27 has some wonderful things to say about these prayers:  Now in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. I didn’t have to text the Holy Spirit.  I just had to whisper: “Help!” He knew what to pray for even when I had no clue.  He interceded for us. 

THE ICING ON THE CAKE

Right now, Bill’s blood pressure is getting better. I am no longer in excruciating pain, consumed with fears of bleeding out. Best of all, today was the icing on the wedding cake – God gave me exactly the right words to speak at the reception.

HE KNEW HOW TO PRAY

I didn’t know how to pray. I cling to “for we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us.”  Without even a text, He knew how to pray, even during a series of unfortunate events.