Category: SPIRITUAL GROWTH

GOD SHOWS UP

All those tears I have tried to keep in check since the first hospitalization on November 25th ran down my face. God heard.

Since November 25th our days have been filled with ER visits, hospitalizations, doctor appointments, and a confusing array of conflicting opinions from specialists. We are exhausted, down to our last array of strength, and God keeps showing up often when we least expect it.

ANGELS FROM GOD

“Angel” means messenger from God. God apparently has an abundance of them in human form. Two days ago, I was exceptionally brittle and down to my last ounce of courage. As I trucked in to yet again keep vigil at the hospital a song played. It mentioned tears at Christmas. At that point I lost it. I literally howled in the car. All those tears I have tried to keep in check since the first hospitalization on November 25th ran down my face. God heard.

LOVED, SNOT AND ALL

God showed up. That afternoon one friend stopped by unannounced. She lost her husband several years ago and understands the emotional and spiritual warfare at play. She didn’t tell me to buck up or shower me with Christian truisms. Instead, she hugged me, loved me, spoke Scripture over me and prayed for me. Within the hour another Christian sister also visited; let me cry, snot and all. God showed up through these angels.

None of these sisters belong to a Christian committee or are paid to visit. They just listen to God and turn up.

ROCK BOTTOM

The next day, Bill hit bottom both physically and emotionally. The doctor told him that his blood numbers are finally beginning to start to look better. The next words were “You will be here until at least the weekend.” Not the words Bill wanted to hear, especially since he was experiencing unrelenting backpain. Bill had just been transferred out of the ICU to a new floor in the hospital. They were understaffed. Official medical help was a long time a coming.

BROTHER D

Out of the blue, in walked Brother D. He didn’t have a set agenda. God delivered our messenger of encouragement. Brother D did it beautifully. He listened to God’s nudge and obeyed.

DRIVE BY MESSENGERS

Then arrived our friends from another country. I call them “God’s Drive by Messengers”. Due to their experience caring for their invalid father for a number of years, they gave Bill the best foot massage he ever received. Then together as a team they repositioned him on his bed, so Bill’s back was more at ease. Nudged by God, they showed up and unconventionally obeyed.

HEARING THE NUDGE AND SHOWING UP

And that is the role of genuine believers – they listen to God and show up. It might not be something in their comfort level, and it may not fit in their schedule.

Thanks to all of you who have sent messages, called and dropped by. Kudos to you who have ardently kept us in your prayers. Since November 25th, twice without the intervention of God we would have lost Bill. Heaven will be blessed by Bill’s presence but there are still so many more lives Bill wants to reach for Christ.

GOD SMILES

Dear Messengers, the world is not aware of your service, but Heaven is listening to your obedience to Christ. You have felt God’s nudge and showed up. God smiles.

I HEARD THE BELLS ON CHRISTMAS DAY

Christmas Day 1862 Henry wrote in his journal “A merry Christmas” say the children, but that is no more for me.”

American poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote these lyrics during a dark season. Two years previously his wife had been sealing envelopes with hot wax when the flame caught her clothes on fire.  Henry, burned badly as well, was too sick to attend her funeral.  For the remainder of his life, he covered up his facial scars behind a long beard. Christmas Day 1862 Henry wrote in his journal “A merry Christmas” say the children, but that is no more for me.”

NO PEACE ON EARTH

By 1863 the country tore itself apart in Civil War.  Against Henry’s wishes (and fears) his son, Charles, enlisted in the army. No wonder Henry wrote: And in despair I bowed my head, ‘There is no peace on earth,’ I said, for hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men. In November, a bullet pierced Charles from back to shoulder, just nicking his spine. Henry traveled to Washington to retrieve his son from the hospital.  Arriving at home December 8th, Charles began his extended convalescence.  This was grief at its deepest. 

God loved Henry in the midst. His love had not run out.

GOD IS NOT DEATH NOR DOTH HE SLEEP!

Slowly, Henry’s heart began to heal and turn back to God.  Along with everything else, he experienced a dry season in writing.  But then, sitting at his desk one morning he heard the church bells.  Henry’s heart began to resonate with the return of hope.  Hope for his son, hope for his family and hope for a nation torn apart by war.  God began to wake his heart when he wrote: “Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: God is not dead; nor doth he sleep! The wrong shall fail, the right prevail. With peace on earth, good-will to men!” God had not departed.

THE BELLS PEAL FOR ETERNITY

The sinless One, Jesus Christ, came to bring hope: complete reconciliation between mankind and God.  Because of this, Longfellow journaled: “I thought how as the day had come; the belfries of all Christendom had rolled along the unbroken song of peace on earth, good will to men.   That’s why the bells peal for all eternity.”  Will the bells peal for all eternity signaling that you have made peace with God via Jesus Christ?  Even when grief is at its deepest, God has not departed. The season of darkness can pass.  

Click to read more on discovering lasting peace.

JOY MEANT FOR ALL

Emotionally, I can feel like a ping pong ball thwacked back and forth by the paddles of life.

As I drove to work, a few bars of “Joy to the World” began to play on the radio. As its upbeat arrangement attempted to rouse a jolly response, I couldn’t help but admit I wasn’t feeling particularly festive. Christmas is called “the most wonderful time of the year”….But, not for all.

THE PING PONG BALL EFFECT

Sometimes I love the season and revel in the trimmings, twinkling lights, and tunes. Then there are the times I white-knuckle my way through landmines of longing, loss, and loneliness intensified by the holiday season. Emotionally, I can feel like a ping pong ball thwacked back and forth by the paddles of life.

THWACKED BACK AND FORTH BY LIFE

Picture that very first Christmas. Did Mary and Joseph also feel like ping pong balls bounced back and forth by unseen or unknown powers? Not yet married and expecting a baby, Mary and Joseph lived with the aftermath of losing their reputations and highly likely relationships with friends and family. They experienced the loneliness of not belonging anywhere. Did they feel thwacked back and forth by life in a world lost and longing for the Savior?

BOTH HARDSHIP AND BEAUTY

The “trimmings” of that first Christmas were rough. Judean stables often were not made of wood like we see portrayed. More likely it was a damp cave or lower-level annex hewn out of rock. Jesus made his grand entrance not as a magnificent king arriving on the scene, but as an ordinary baby pushed into the world amid Mary’s searing pain. No cradles, soft and warm, but a utilitarian feeding trough surrounded by the ordinary sounds and smells of life (Luke 2:1-20). At the same time, the sky lit up with a multitude of angels (Luke 2:8-20) singing the most beautiful Christmas song announcing the birth of The Savior of the World! What a contrast between the broken and sublime. Hardship and beauty. Both realities coexisted. That realization brings me peace.

JOY COEXISTING WITH SORROW

As I walked into work that day, I felt joyful despite the paddles of life sending me back and forth between happiness and sorrow. You see, true joy can coexist with sorrow because it is not dependent on things always being “good”. Real joy sustained by hope and the deep settled confidence that God is in control of every detail of life. Whether you find yourself reveling or longing, Christmas really is a wonderful time of the year. It’s when we remember that the Lord came. And because He came and conquered sin and death (I Cor. 15:55-57), He will come again. I invite you to experience His joy to the world!

Click to discover how to grab unto God’s joy.

GOD DOES NOT FOLLOW MY PLANS

God did not follow my plans for Thanksgiving. God also has not apologized.

God did not follow my plans for Thanksgiving. I anticipated a lovely meal with our adult children with lots of laughter. The phrase “the plans of mice and men oft go awry” comes from the 1785 poem “To a Mouse” by the Scottish poet Robert Burns. It means that even the most carefully made plans can go wrong. In the poem, Burns apologizes to a mouse whose nest he accidentally destroyed while plowing a field. God did not follow my plans. God also has not apologized.

THE DRIVE TO THE ER

We noticed in the weeks before Thanksgiving that Bill’s asthma worsened. We called the doctor for the usual prescription of prednisone. However, God planned differently. It was Tuesday of T-day week, and the medical office requested that Bill come in for an in-person visit. The nurse checked his vitals. Bill’s blood pressure was alarmingly high. The doctor told him immediately to go to the ER. This didn’t fit our plans for the week. Bill argued with the doctor. The doctor won the discussion. I drove Bill to the ER.

NO HALLMARK MOVIE

The ER staff saw him stat and what we thought was asthma proved to be fluid accumulating around the heart and lungs. Again, not our plan. After all, this was Thanksgiving week! Admission to the hospital followed. More tests and bloodwork. We soon learned that one of Bill’s kidneys decided to take a timeout. As the week stretched out, Bill thought he would return home for our picture-perfect Thanksgiving (like in the Hallmark movies). That plan also short circuited. The days crawled by, and the blood pressure remained in the stratosphere. Why didn’t God follow our plans? Didn’t He hear our prayers? Doesn’t God follow the script of Hallmark movies?

GOD’S ANSWERS TO OUR PRAYERS

Yes, God did hear our prayers, but the answers arrived in ways we never anticipated. We always pray that God will daily use us for His glory. God answered as Bill befriended hospital staff and Christ naturally fit into conversations. Bill talked with people he never would have naturally met in our normal plans.

We daily pray for strength, courage to follow Christ, and that God would look out for us. Our plan was an easy prescription of prednisone. God’s plan was someone looking further into Bill’s health and discovering a walking time bomb. God looked out for Bill even when we didn’t know the situation was critical.

Due to my vision difficulties, my plan is to avoid night driving at all costs. God’s plan was for me to drive home from the hospital late that first pitch-black night in pouring down rain. Talk about the song “Jesus Take the Wheel”! God settled my nerves, directed my route, and I only ran against one curb. God’s plan is best when I totally depend on Him.

UNEXPECTED GIFTS

On the 8th day of his hospital stay, Bill was finally disconnected from the IV and released. Given a large bag of new meds, volumes of instructions, and a schedule for further testing and specialist visits, we gratefully made our exit. It is the season of giving. We didn’t anticipate these gifts.

Other than our ultimate reunion with Jesus, we do not know the details of what God has planned in the coming days. We do know the quality of God’s plans, and they are always perfect, filled with His lovingkindness and tender mercy.

“Bless and affectionately praise the Lord, O my soul, and all that is [deep] within me, bless His holy name. Bless and affectionately praise the Lord, O my soul, and do not forget any of His benefits… Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you [lavishly] with lovingkindness and tender mercy; Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the [soaring] eagle” (Psalm 103:1-5)

I plan to keep on blessing and praising God, even in the darkest night.

THANKFUL EVERY DAY

Bobby said his favorite part of Thanksgiving was “when everybody goes home.”

This week we celebrate Thanksgiving, the day we give thanks for the usual stuff: family, food, and football. Maybe on Thanksgiving eve, we attend a special service and sing songs of worship, hear a brief homily, and then return home to work harder than any other day of the year. We vacuum the stairs, dust the furniture, polish the silver, pick up the toys, and throw dirty clothes into the hamper. Of course, we make sure the litter box is empty (or at least guarantee the cat odor is gone). Then finally, we can “die”. All that for family we may only see once a year!

“WHEN EVERYBODY GOES HOME”

That is a scenario I cobbled together from several reports, both from adults and from one of my 2nd graders. At school, we went around the circle asking what part of Thanksgiving was their favorite. Most of the answers were about food and games, but when we got to Bobby (name changed of course) his answer was a little more honest, he said his favorite part was “when everybody goes home!”

THANKSGIVING NOT A CALENDAR DATE

Does this sound like your day of Thanksgiving? Is it simply another day of food and family and even a few days off from work? Not according to David. He expressed thanksgiving in times of joy and in times of persecution. “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever”(Psalm 30:11-12). His thanksgiving was not a date on the calendar. It was an essential portion of him, an expression of rejoicing in the knowledge of a powerful God.  

SATURATED BY THANKSGIVING

The apostle Paul did not see giving thanks as an occasional day either, but an element which saturated his life. “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). Perhaps we should print a new calendar with every day marked as Thanksgiving.

Remember those friends or relatives you do not have an easy relationship with? Paul pleads with two women, Euodia and Syntyche, to agree with each other, along with the others that are written in the Book of Life. We must even do this with rejoicing and thanksgiving.

HOW TO GIVE THANKS DAILY

Can we make giving thanks an everyday part of our devotion to God? Of course. Here are some of the ways:

We can begin every day by giving God thanks for another morning, health, and loved ones. So, let’s celebrate Thanksgiving together as part of the Body of Christ on that day, and let’s continue to remember His goodness the other 364 days of the year.

Click this link for even more verses to spur you toward thankfulness in this season of your life.

HARD IS NOT THE SAME AS BAD

Struggles deepen our relationship with God

Admit it. You and I want to pick out even the tiniest bit of hardship from our lives and throw it away. We download apps to avoid waiting in lines or how to evade people or. How can we steer clear of situations that are difficult to deal with?  We pray for quick healing, safe travels and smooth circumstances. Then there are Godzilla size trials such as serious illness, financial ruin, death of a loved one and broken relationships.  We universally want to avoid what is hard, whether it be big or little.

BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE

Abby Harberstadt wrote the book “Hard Is Not the Same Thing as Bad”. Athletes around the world, women who give birth and those who recover from surgery would agree wholeheartedly that just because something is hard doesn’t make it bad. Arduous workouts lead to athletic success.  Hard labor gives us children.  Corrective surgery cuts away what is diseased and brings us back to good health. Those are certainly hard things, but not bad things. They are blessings in disguise.

GREAT THINGS THROUGH THE HARD STUFF

God accomplishes great things through the hard stuff of life. Like physical muscles, our spiritual muscles get stronger with repeated, regular use and training.  Heavy weights and big hills are a necessary part of the process. The Holy Spirit uses challenging circumstances which give birth to and strengthen our character.  When we submit to God’s scalpel, He cuts away ugly parts of us and shapes us to look more like Jesus–the ultimate critical surgery.

DEEPENING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

Trials and tribulations in life are a major component in each of these processes. Paul writes, “But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4).Beyond maturing our character toward Christlikeness, struggles deepen our relationship with God. 

GROWING IN TRUST

When my husband and I trained to work with foster children with attachment issues, we learned that caring for children when they are sick or injured deepens their attachment to their caregivers. It helps them to learn to trust.  As God holds us close and cares for us through painful circumstances, we can know Him in a manner we cannot learn any other way.  We become more attached to God in a fashion that defies words. Our trust of Him begins to permeate the deepest parts of our hearts.

CONSIDER IT JOY

James tells us, “Consider it pure joy by brothers and sisters whenever you face trials” (James 1:2).This does not mean we must have happiness about trials, but that we can live through them with biblical joy. Joy is a deep settled confidence that God is in control of the details of our life. 

This attitude speaks volumes about Christ to the world around us, as they watch how we handle trials. We also experience joy as we take time to remember adversity; searchand acknowledge ways God uses it to change us. Be intentional about thanking God for these blessings in disguise and the fruit they produce. “Hard is not the same thing as bad.” Hard can be good, even if it takes us a while to realize it. 

Click for more about finding joy during trials.

Joseph’s Encounter: How to Forgive the Unforgivable

Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more?

Post WWII, Corrie ten Boom went on a speaking tour of Germany, to win to Christ the hearts of her former enemies. She remembered, “It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower door in the processing center at Ravensbruck Concentration Camp. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there – the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, My sister Betsie’s pain-blanched face.… My sister’s death.” Could Corrie forgive the unforgivable?

DEALING WITH THE UNFORGIVABLE

In Genesis 42:1-43:10, can you imagine the same type of shock when Joseph recognizes the group of men at the palace door? He instantly remembered the brothers who despised teenaged Joseph with such a revulsion and enmity that they sold him into slavery. With crocodile tears they told their father that a wild animal killed their brother. Since then, more than twenty years passed. How does Joseph deal with the men he had known as brothers, now bowing before him, begging to buy food?

Joseph is the last person on earth the brothers expected to see, especially in Pharaoh’s Court. The aristocracy before them spoke with great authority and appeared Egyptian. This man is Pharoah’s right-hand man.

EVERYTHING COMES FULL CIRCLE

Do angry vengeful thoughts first swirl around in Joseph’s brain when he recognizes them? “Joseph recognized his brothers; they did not recognize him. Then he (Joseph) remembered his dreams about them.” The God of the Universe reminds Joseph that everything has come full circle. The dreams he was given years ago in which God placed him over his brothers, are being fulfilled.

ENTITLED TO REVENGE

Certainly, Joseph is entitled to revenge. Have his brothers changed? Do they regret their wicked attempt to get rid of Joseph? In their minds, Joseph “is no more”. Joseph uses an interpreter, so they assume he doesn’t speak their language. Then Joseph hears them say, “Surely, we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that’s why this distress has come on us.”

WHERE DO THEIR HEARTS STAND?

Joseph knows his brothers as tricksters. After all their father’s name is interpreted as “someone who seizes or circumvents”. Joseph gives his brothers a run for their money to reveal where their hearts stand. In the process, he makes possible his heart’s desire: to see his younger brother Benjamin and father, Jacob. Dad has never recovered from the loss of Joseph. Jacob laments, “You have deprived me of my children. Joseph is no more, and Simeon is no more and now you want to take Benjamin. Everything is against me!”

Joseph maneuvers the situation in a series of tests: the silver in their saddle bags and Simeon being held hostage in Egypt. God provides the answers regarding the former tricksters at the palace door.

FORGIVENESS IS POSSIBLE EVEN WHEN COUNTERINTUITIVE

What lesson do we learn from this? Forgiveness is possible even when it is counterintuitive. Joseph responded in wise trusting obedience to God when confronted with the deepest hurts of his past. Corrie Ten Boom remembers, “Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.” Who is knocking at your door? Is it that trickster, the one who has deeply hurt you? Or is it much worse, Corrie’s guard from Ravensbruck? How are you going to respond to God’s call for wisdom and forgiveness?

Click to hear the story of Dana St. John

Navigating Rules: A Christian Perspective on Authority

It was with great irritation I read the notice. Surely it didn’t apply to me?!

Of course, someone eventually noticed my flaming red Kia parked in the small forbidden parking lot. I found the bright orange notice under my windshield wiper. Due to construction, the regular lot for substitute teachers is out of service; filled with temporary classroom trailers. Subs are to park in the lots at the rear of the school, regardless of the inconvenience. We must trudge around the circumference of the large building to enter via the locked front visitor entrance. This may be easier with good knees and non-arthritic feet. However, my knees and feet are both old and decrepit. And so, it was with great irritation I read the notice. Surely it didn’t apply to me?!

SURELY IT DOESN’T APPLY TO ME…

Did you ever receive a rule and think that it must not apply to you? Maybe you dutifully obey all the other rules. Why do you have to obey this specific inconvenient rule? An experience like this can shed light on one’s attitude toward authority. My attitude needs readjustment. Does yours?

WHAT A REPUTATION!

From the chapter one in Titus, we surmise that the Cretin believers are an unruly group. They wrestle with being arrogant, quick-tempered, violent, dishonest, a rebellious people. Sources describe the people of Crete as “liars, cruel animals, and lazy gluttons”. What a reputation!

ATTITUDES ABOUT AUTHORITY

However, Cretins are slowly growing in Christ. What does Titus further need to instruct them on? Chapter three introduces the topic of attitudes about their rulers. How we behave toward those in authority, regardless of how rulers got into power. In our rearview mirror should be behaviors described as foolish, disobedient, spending and wasting our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.  Going forward, believers are to be obedient, to be ready and willing to do good, to slander or abuse no one, to be kind and conciliatory and gentle, showing unqualified consideration and courtesy toward everyone. That is quite a turn-around. A true readjustment in attitude.

CONSIDERATION AND COURTESY TOWARD ALL

Believers are not to be hurling sarcastic, derogatory, and foul-mouthed words at those we disagree with. We must be kind and gentle. God’ children must show unqualified consideration and courtesy toward everyone, obey the law (as long as it does not directly violate God’s law) and be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, ready and willing to do good. Doesn’t matter whether we like the ruler or how they rule.

READJUSTMENT IN ATTITUDE

God’s reputation is at stake since we are His ambassadors. We swallow our pride, are respectful and obey the rules. Our personal convenience or preference doesn’t enter the equation. A true readjustment in attitude.

And so, I dutifully park my Kia in one of the designated parking lots at the rear of the building, fight the biting cold winds and trudge to the front of the school. All because God says, “Be subject to rulers and authorities, be obedient, and be ready and willing to do good.” Are you God’s ambassador in all matters of obedience? My attitude needed readjustment. Does yours?

GOD’S AMBASSADOR

MY CROOKED LIFE

My eyesight is never upright. When I pull into a parking spot at church, regardless of my best intentions, my Kia ends up crooked between the lines.

I have permanent double vision. Even with a prism lens over my right eye, my vision is remains crooked. The word “upright” means to be erect; not bent or curved. My eyesight is never upright. When I pull into a parking spot at church, regardless of my best intentions, my Kia ends up crooked between the lines. One time a church parking attendant called this to my attention. I replied, “Sorry, that’s as good as it gets.” My vision is not upright, it is bent and curved.

PERMANENTLY BENT, CROOKED AND FLAWED

Both upright physical vision and upright spiritual living are impossible for me via my own resources. My spirit is crooked; permanently bent with sin.  Gift Gugu Mona (a South African poet and writer) wrote, “There can be no one better than yourself, so be the best version of you because no one is born to represent another.”. Sorry Ms. Mona, you are dead wrong. All of us are a version permanently bent, crooked and flawed by sin.

REBORN INTO HIS VERSION

This changed when I found new life in Christ. I was reborn into His version, meant to represent Him every second of the day. Born to reflect Him and Him alone.

POOR, POOR ISAIAH

Transported to heaven, the prophet Isaiah realizes that the best version of himself is in ruins. “I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: …And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” … the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty” (Isaiah 6:1-5). Isaiah acknowledges he is lethally ruined by sin. No matter how he tries to live a self-controlled, upright and godly life, he is fatally crooked.

OUR CROOKED WORLD

Like the Cretins in Titus 2:11-14, we live in a confusing, crooked world, hardened by evil. The clock ticks away while we wait for the blessed hope, the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus. What are we as believers to do as the minutes pass by?

Jesus Christ, didn’t come teach us to be the best version of ourselves and give us pointers on how to be nicer people. He gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good. God knows that even with all our best intentions, we are not upright. On our own we are bent, crooked and downright wicked.

COME TO THE END OF YOURSELF

Kara Tippetts observed, “When you come to the end of yourself, that’s when something else can begin.” Only by His grace can we come to the end of ourselves, and be redeemed and purified to be His possession, His people.

ENTHUSIASTIC FOR DOING GOOD

Christ’s purpose was to redeem us and purchase our freedom from all wickedness, and to purify for Himself a chosen and very special people to be His own possession, who are enthusiastic for doing what is good. He alone is the One Who changes and empowers us to be upright and spiritually park straight between His lines. We no longer have to live crooked.

Suggested reading – Kara Tippetts’ book: The Hardest Peace: Expecting Grace in the Midst of Life’s Hard

SOME DAYS MUST BE DARK AND DREARY

What do you do when a week feels like an eternity?

“Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary.” (except from  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem “The Rainy Day”) Difficult times are a common part of life, but what about weeks? Months? Years?

The Fallen Warrior

How did King David feel as he endured the last decade of his life? This once strong warrior had defeated Goliath, brought the Philistines to their knees, and miraculously led a ragtag army through the wilderness while being chased by his relentless adversary, Saul. However, in the twilight of David’s life, two of his sons attempt to steal the throne from Dad. David’s health deteriorates due to age, stress, and exhaustion. He can no longer even stay warm at night. “Some days must be dark and dreary”.

Week that feels like an eternity

Rather than an entire season, what about experiencing just one dark and dreary week? That succession of days which feel like an eternity. I felt the oppression of such a week. The pressure as my heart drowned in a continual tide of confusion and fear. A client blew up at me over an issue that was not my making. The same day, a friend called me, still angry at God and life’s circumstances. I faced two medical appointments with specialists and had no direction whether either physical condition could be remedied. In the background is the continual pain I experience with a deteriorating back. Some weeks must be dark and dreary.

Unsettling hum of distress

It all contributes to an unsettling hum and sigh of distress. I can not control my circumstances. The only thing that I can do is cry out to God.

So glad that God doesn’t shut the door on me. When He sees my name on caller ID, God does not reject the call. He patiently listens and then He waits for me to listen. Often, I can’t hear the connection with Him because I am deaf, drowning in a my sea of spiritual dissonance.

The Choice

What do I do? What can I choose? Where can I focus my heart and mind?

David wrote this during some of his darkest days: “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.” (Psalm 34:4-7)

This is the recipe for when “Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary.” You can embrace this prayer: “Lord, make my face radiant as I choose to look to You.”

For further encouragement, click to listen to Hannah’s story.