Category: DEPRESSION

SILENCE UNDER THE BROOM TREE

Have you ever concluded that your ministry is fruitless and life just isn’t worth living?

The fireworks are done; the anticipated victory has arrived. The main character is beyond exhaustion. He witnessed at the altar what he envisioned as the big finale to his ministry career. Yet, in a moment, everything turns upside down. He is now a wanted man on the run for his life. The account of this is recorded in I Kings 18:20-46 & I Kings 19:1-18.

Alone, at his wits end, Elijah cries, “I have had enough Lord. Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” And with those words, Elijah falls asleep in the wilderness under a broom tree, a desert shrub.

God had not met Elijah’s expectations. Sure, there was the magnificent fire from heaven raining down on Elijah’s water drenched sacrifice. The crowd cheered: “The Lord, He is God! The Lord, He is God!” And then there was the post-game show of God breaking the drought which had plagued the nation of Israel for years. Surely, it was a win-win! What more could Elijah expect from God?

However, hearts can be rock hard. The warrant is issued by Queen Jezebel for Elijah’s death. Afterall, Elijah ordered the execution of hundreds of her false prophets. Elijah responds to Jezebel’s warrant by running and running and running. That brings him to the solitary broom tree.

Have you ever concluded that your ministry is fruitless and life just isn’t worth living? The NIV notes say that “Elijah lost his confidence in the triumph of the kingdom and was withdrawing from the area of conflict.” I don’t blame him. Did Elijah have any additional space so I might join him under the broom tree?

The magnificent revival Elijah expected from the huge miracles, did not happen. Elijah expected BIG. However, God planned for small…. God finally speaks to Elijah, but God doesn’t shout in the wind. Neither does He scream over the earthquake. There is no roaring over the fire. God chooses to speak to Elijah in a gentle whisper. It isn’t until that point of quiet that Elijah is ready to again hear God.

So how noisy is your life? Lots going on? Have you become so caught up in the results of both your plans and disappointments that you have begun to think that God is not Who He says He is? Have you effectively silenced God because He doesn’t produce the bells and whistles you expect from Him?

How about running to your broom tree. Turn off your phone, radio, TV, and your racing thoughts. STOP!!! Get ready for the whisper of God. Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).He is in the silence and He still is God.

Click here for more information on what it means to be still

REMEDY FOR A BROKEN HEART

I assumed that my mess was my own and not till everything was straightened out could I feel close to God again.

I was underwater and drowning fast due to circumstances mostly out of my control.  Torn and shredded, my heart didn’t know if there was a way back. 

A specific passage helped me to begin to breathe again.  Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 19 The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; 20 he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. These few verses literally saved my life

In my brokenness, I pushed God further and further away.  Afterall, God doesn’t want to be around rubbish, does He?  That’s what I felt like: trash; something good for nothing. I assumed that my mess was my own and not till everything was straightened out could I feel close to God again.

But that’s not what this passage says.  When we are broken, that’s the time which magnetizes God to us.  I thought He was the One stepping away, but in fact, it was me who was running away from Him.

I didn’t think there could be healing and wholeness. Little did I know that even though healing would take time, I could be made stronger than ever before.  The good thing was that the new stronger was way better than my previous vision of strength. 

Maybe it’s time to start letting these couple of verses soak and marinate into your soul, your heart, your mind and your life.  Please don’t put God on pause.  When I tried that, it just made restoration take so much longer. I lost so much time forgetting: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Click for what the Bible says about mental health

HOW TO HAVE A GRATEFUL HEART

Don’t allow Satan to enter in and fill you with ungratefulness. What can we do to have a grateful heart?

The last day of school; a bittersweet time as some anxiously await summer vacation and others yearn for more time with friends and the stability of a school routine.  I sit in my rocking chair surrounded by sweet eight-year-old faces, opening the cards and gifts they bring me. The best gifts I receive are not the gift cards, flowers, or candy, but the words written in homemade cards or letters from parents. They state how grateful they are for loving and teaching their child. Hearts filled with gratefulness.

But not everyone. This year proved to be a challenging one.  The energy required for a few left me feeling exhausted at the end of each day.  These are the students and parents that I yearn to receive a thank-you from. A small note or email with a sincere thank-you or recognition of appreciation.

Is this how God feels when we are ungrateful or don’t take the time to express our gratitude for the blessings He has showered on us?  Luke 17:12-19 tells the story of ten lepers that asked Jesus to cleanse and heal them. Out of the ten, only one turned back and glorified and thanked God for his healing.  Only one. How many times have we been like the nine lepers? 

Ungratefulness is a sin, and it comes from Satan. 2 Timothy 3:1-4 states, “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.  For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.”  Don’t allow Satan to enter in and fill you with ungratefulness.

What can we do to have a grateful heart? Remember to thank God daily.  Psalm 92:1 reminds us that, “It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord and sing praises.” Remember to say please and thank-you often to others. The mental health benefits of showing gratitude are encouraging.  Symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression can be decreased when we show gratitude. Finally, don’t lose sight of God’s goodness. The Israelites were brought into the Promised Land after 40 years of bondage and they still questioned God’s provision. They even expressed a desire to go back to Egypt into slavery. In times of tribulation, look to see how God got you to where you are in life and give Him praise.  

The love I have given every student over the last 25 years is deep, but it doesn’t begin to compare to the love that God has for His children. He longs for us to recognize our ingratitude and repent. Henry Adams stated, “A teacher affects eternity; they can never tell where their influence stops.” My influence on the lives of the most challenging students may not be noticed yet, but God is in control.  He has the power to change anyone’s ungrateful heart, even mine.

Click for podcast: “What does the Bible say about thankfulness and gratitude?”

WHY GO TO CHURCH?

Church used to be so wonderful for her until the conflicts began.

Becky’s nights were sleepless. Joy was a distant memory. Church used to be so wonderful for her until the conflicts began. She was wounded by both staff and members, but at the same time she also let fly her own sharp verbal arrows. And so, she withdrew from her church family, from corporate worship. Now she only watches church online in the loneliness of her living room. She has drawn away and is a distant spectator.

JESUS KEPT SHOWING UP

As I listened to her story, I thought of all the times Jesus kept showing up on the Sabbath in the synagogue to worship. Rarely was He well received. In his home town they chased Him out and attempted to push Him off a cliff. Yet week after week, Jesus kept honoring God and His command for corporate worship. Corporate means: “formed into a unified body of individuals”. This is the unified body of individuals who worship the true and living God.

NO EXEMPTIONS GIVEN

God doesn’t give exemptions in the fine print of the Bible. It does not say, “Stay home because Mrs. Smith is such a hypocrite. Pastor Smith has been known to occasionally be too blunt. Elder Smith has treated you unfairly. For all these reasons, ditch church.” Jesus rubbed shoulders with some of the worst of the worst in the Temple: the Pharisees, the Sadducees, and the scribes. The vast majority treated Him unfairly. They didn’t know God; they were just religious. Yet Jesus kept worshipping corporately and obeying God because He loved God. It is a privilege to be able to worship together.

IDENTIFY YOUR FEELINGS

For Becky, some excellent advice would be “turn your focus away from the people involved and the church itself and identify the root cause of your pain, turmoil, and disillusionment. Honestly identify what you are feeling. If you are like most people, here are some possibilities: anger, sorrow, disappointment, rejection, hurt, jealousy, vulnerability, fear, rebellion, pride, shame, embarrassment, or loss.

WHAT IS CAUSING YOUR PAIN?

Find out what is at the core of your hurt—not what someone said or did to you, but what is really causing your pain? Then search the Scriptures to discover what God says about it. Take a Bible concordance and look up each word and read, think, pray, and apply the verse. For example, you may think that you are angry when in reality you feel rejected. What does God say about rejection? He says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5); “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3); and, “Surely I am with you always” Matthew 28:20).” (GotQuestions.org)

THE COMMAND

Note the privilege of worship and the command in Hebrews 10:19-25. We need to: “hold on to the hope that we profess without the slightest hesitation—for he is utterly dependable—and let us think of one another and how we can encourage each other to love and do good deeds. And let us not hold aloof from our church meetings, as some do. Let us do all we can to help one another’s faith, and this the more earnestly as we see the final day drawing ever nearer.

Becky, draw near!!!

For further thought, click to listen to the story of Melody Green

NOURISHED, LIKE THE BABY BIRDS

We may become weak and weary in our faith. Without spiritual nourishment we fade away.

Spring is my favorite time of the year. The first flowers peek through the ground and new buds form on the trees. I know the world around me is coming back to life. In anticipation, I look forward to the warming temperatures after the cold and often dreary winter. The robins get busy digging for worms. The air is filled with the enchanting melodies of the songbirds. My hearts sings along with them.

Many spring seasons we have been hosts to a nest of robins atop the light fixture outside our patio door. It’s a great spot; under the porch roof and high enough for protection from danger. This year was no different. Mother robin wasted no time in building a sturdy nest in which to lay her eggs. We saw her come and go. She often sat on the porch railing to make sure the coast was clear. Soon we could hear the tiny chirps of the hatchlings.

HEADS POP UP, MOUTHS WIDE

If they are alone in the nest, the sound of our door opening quickly prompts their tiny heads to pop up, their mouths wide open. They know that their mama is returning to the nest with food. Without it they will grow weak and die. They trust her for their nourishment to grow and develop.

WEAK AND WEARY IN THE FAITH

In the same way, we need food and nourishment, but even more important is our necessity for the spiritual food that helps us grow and thrive in our relationship with God. Without it, we become weak and weary in our faith. Spiritual nourishment comes from the God’s Word.

INVITATION TO RELATIONSHIP

The Bible is God’s invitation to a relationship with Him. It is inerrant and the final authority on all matters of faith; our guide for living in a way that honors God. He offers this food abundantly and available to us at any time. We need only to open our hearts and minds to receive it. We are commanded to drink it in. “Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation.” (1 Peter 2:2). In Deuteronomy chapter 8 we read that God fed the Israelites with manna, “that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord”(v3).

SAVOR EVERY BITE

Like dining at a fine food restaurant, we are to savor every bite, taking our time to enjoy it. We are to “chew” on it, to meditate and consider how we can apply it to our lives. We need to relish God’s word, making it a part of us as it strengthens and sustains us.

In the last several days, our baby birds left the nest, but we’ve discovered that there are 4 new eggs in the nest waiting to hatch. I’ll once again be able to see tiny heads pop up with mouths wide open, eagerly awaiting some food.

Are you seeking daily spiritual nourishment, enthusiastically anticipating your food from God’s Word? Is your heart and mind wide open, ready to take in and apply the truths He reveals to you? Without it, believers grow weak and cannot grow. God wants you to grow! Dig in and be nourished!

HOW TO THRIVE

As time has passed, I came to know that there’s no way to dig in, grit teeth, and white-knuckle my way through this sorrow and grief, waiting for the time to be up.

Many years ago, before my husband Frank and I were married, we sought God’s wisdom and direction. There was an important decision that could change our lives. Frank commented that he thought he knew how long the Lord was going to take before He answered. He also said he was not going to share that info with me. Frank knew that I would just be waiting for the time to be up instead of seeking the Lord’s will and spiritually growing while in this difficult place of seeking.

I DIG IN AND GRIT MY TEETH

It was like a gut-punch of truth. Frank understands that I like to know the plan, work the plan, and achieve the goal. I have a tremendous ability to dig in, grit teeth, and white-knuckle my way through challenges.

NEARLY THREE YEARS

It’s been nearly three years since my adult son, Anthony, suddenly went to Heaven. Since that day, I have been exiled to the deepest, darkest portion of the Valley of Death’s Shadow. Initially, I had to talk myself through each breath, then each moment. Just do the next thing. Eventually, I’d mark that I had made it through another day, week, month, and year. One year closer to leaving the pain of this life behind and seeing Anthony again.

NOT JUST SURVIVE, BUT THRIVE?

As time has passed, I came to know that there’s no way to dig in, grit teeth, and white-knuckle my way through this sorrow and grief, waiting for the time to be up. I will carry this loss for the rest of my life. I pray for wisdom on how to keep moving forward but I’m not strong enough. So how do I do this when I know that God wants me to not just survive but thrive?

YOU WILL PROSPER

God, in His gentleness, reminded me of the exiles. The Jewish people were exiled to Babylon under King Nebuchadnezzar and had been removed from their families and lives they had known. Living in this foreign land, everything was different from their previous lives in Israel. They mourned the loss of life as they had known it, longing for return to their true home. Yet in this place of captivity, the Lord told them through the prophet Jeremiah, “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” (Jeremiah 29:5-7)

HOW TO LIVE

This same passage declares God’s good plans for the people’s hope and future. He promises to bring the exiles back to their home one day. Until then, God commands the people to call on Him and pray. God guarantees to listen and be found. He will be with them, even in this place (Jeremiah 29:10-14). He tells them how to live: not to just survive, but to thrive.

I WANT TO THRIVE

Like the Israelites, I no longer have the family and life I had before. I long for my true home: Heaven. Fully, I feel the grief and loss. Although I am not yet able to dance on the grave of my sorrows, I daily do my best to fully surrender to the Lord, call on Him, and pray for increase and prosperity in my new land. I don’t want to just survive. I want to thrive.

Where do you find yourself today? Why not follow Jeremiah’s instructions and continue to call on God and pray as you wait? Seek peace and prosperity in whatever place you find yourself, trusting with hope in God’s plan for your future. Endeavor to not just survive but thrive until the Lord’s promise to take us home is fulfilled.

YOU HAVE NOT PASSED THIS WAY BEFORE

Did you ever realize that God rarely ever tells His children the details of the future?

In 1988 our family moved to Illinois so my husband could go to seminary. Homesickness conquered my heart. “Now I lay me down to sleep” prayers were not cutting it.  What kind of spiritual life sustains you in crisis? Afterall, weren’t we “doing God’s work”? At the time, I didn’t realize God would do whatever He wanted, regardless of our personal plans. We had given God permission to do bring pain into our lives.

THE SURPRISES

We experienced lots of surprises. The sale of our house was supposed to carry us through most of Bill’s education. The funds only lasted the first year. Our new home was in Zion, IL and it certainly was not the Zion associated with heaven. We had given away our church home, our close ties with family and friends, and the confidence we had from prior ministries. Pastor Bill now worked as Janitor Bill. Teacher Jacqui who had excelled at working with young children found herself way out of her league teaching middle school and high school students. Our two sons had to build an entirely new world of friends. Life was hard.

DANIEL PRAYED, NO MATTER WHAT

Did you ever realize that God rarely ever tells His children the details of the future? Daniel and his friends knew that God would eventually bring exiled their people back to Israel, but God neglected to tell them that lions, a furnace, and tests would abound. One thing that especially pops out when one reads the Book of Daniel – Daniel prayed, no matter what.

A PRAYER LIFE THAT GREW

The reward for my struggles, in 1988-1991 amidst all the pain, was a prayer life that exponentially expanded into rich and deep conversations with God.  There was nowhere else to turn.  I began, out of desperation, to really focus on my relationship with God.  5 AM marked the time when I commenced going for long walks in the dark, crying out to God and asking for His guidance.  I felt liked the Israelites when they had to trust God as they walked across the Jordan. God commented, “you have not passed this way before.” 

A TIME TO MOVE FORWARD

So, in all the pain you may currently be going through, are you consciously keeping your eyes on God with the expectation that He will direct you since “you have not passed this way before”?  This may involve life changes such as intentionally spending more time talking to God and less time complaining to others about what is happening.  More actions carried out with the courage and wisdom of Jesus and less behaviors determined by your fears.  This is not the time for cookie cutter prayers, this is the time to move forward, deeper into the Christ Who knows “you have not passed this way before.” 

LISTEN WITH AN UNDIVIDED HEART

Ruth Haley Barton in “Sacred Rhythms” writes: “As long as we continue to reduce prayer to occasional piety we keep running away from the mystery of God’s jealous love.” I wanted to run away from this painful love.  Barton continues: “let God’s creative love touch the most hidden places of your being and …to listen with attentive, undivided heart to the inner movement of the Spirit of Jesus, even when that Spirit was leads to places you would rather not go.”  In the dark at 5 AM I began to let God pry my fingers off those things I had previously treasured.  I began to beg God for what He wanted to transpire in my life, as hard and painful as it was.  The floor had been ripped out, the roof blown off. God wanted to build my life in a new closer way. 

I CAME TO THE CROSS

Barton continues: “We come to Him with empty hands and empty heart, having no agenda.  Half the time we don’t even know what we need; we just come with a sense of our own spiritual poverty.”  I just dumped all of it, every awful shaming moment of it all, and came to the cross with bended knee.  It was in the dark in Illinois that I learned to let God do whatever He wanted, no matter the future. I had “not passed this way before.” 

WRITING TO HEAL FROM TRAUMA

Yes, she’s had a long history of traumatic life events, but shouldn’t those scars be completely healed by now?

It is the perfect storm which seems to come out of nowhere. Yes, she’s had a long history of traumatic life events, but shouldn’t those scars be completely healed by now? The experiences that caused her so much pain now appear to be on a loop tape. How does she keep running into the same circumstances encountering the same people as the last time? It seems that the only thing that changes are the peoples’ names.

THE REARVIEW MIRROR OF THE PAST

At this point of her life, shouldn’t those memories be long in the rearview mirror of her past? Of course, it has not helped that recently life around her has seemed like one bad nightmare of a circus. She feels helpless.

NEVER BETTER?

Some days just the thought of getting out of bed takes more energy than running a marathon.  There is just no more energy to give. Weighed down, 100 lb. weights tied to her ankles. Will it never get better?

This is life dealing with trauma.  It locks you down and freezes you into place. Sandra Marinella recalls: “I learned this as I sat on the edge of the black velvet chair in the chalk-white, sterile office. My heart clenched as I waited for a doctor I did not want to meet. The door swung open, and a chalk-white radiologist entered and motioned me to sit back. I began to choke, and tears of nervous anticipation flooded my eyes. And then it seemed as if we were trapped in a black-and-white 16mm movie of my life, a scary, surreal film — the kind of strange avant-garde ones Andy Warhol used to make in the ’60s. There was no sound but the ghostly doctor mouthing the words, “You have cancer.”

IS MY STORY REPAIRABLE?

In Warhol style the film, appropriately titled Cancer, was projected onto dark walls — and it was showing my story. Then the projector clicked and sputtered and went silent. Suddenly my story seemed to have slipped off the spool and was cascading to the basement of my mind as ribbons of unwound, damaged film. Can this film — my story — be repaired?” (The Story You Need to Tell: Writing to Heal from Trauma, Illness, or Loss)

Is your film, your story, repairable? Yes, oh yes!  What are some steps toward healing?

  • Experience your pain and grief
  • Break your silence and find your voice
  • Accept and piece together a difficult or broken story
  • Find meaning or make sense of your event or story
  • Rewrite your story and find ways to reconnect with your health: physical, spiritual, emotional and mental

Take a pen and begin to write. Don’t be concerned with spelling or grammar, wondering if your writing is “any good”, or succeeding or failing, I challenge you to play around with a writing prompt this week. Begin by writing one or more statements that follow this form: “I want to…but I can’t because…” Examples are: “I want to move, but I can’t because I don’t make enough money.” “I want to find a find a friend, but I can’t because I suffer from shyness.” “I want to undertake a new challenge, but I can’t because I believe I am too old.”

Connect your statement with a dilemma currently face. Then answer these questions:  What is my dream? What obstacles are making it hard to accomplish my dream? How can I face this challenge? Write from your heart. Tell yourself the truth. It may be surprising what you learn. Ernest Hemingway wrote: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down with paper and bleed” Similar, but not the same, is my earlier post “Writing Your Story and Changing the Ending”.

Try learning to write (or sing) to the Lord a new song. It could be quite refreshing. Please let me know what you learn.

WRITING YOUR STORY AND CHANGING THE ENDING

Your story needs to be told

Everyone has a “I don’t believe this is happening to me” story. The story that makes you feel as if you are drowning, not even sure if you will survive. The experience that has sucked the air out of you and made you feel as if you are going under. This is your journey.

YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR STORY

Sandra Marinella writes: “When things happen that are unexpected, unwelcome, challenging, disorienting, or traumatic, we survive, but the storyline we were following is shattered. Untold stories don’t go away; they morph into volatile emotions, into flashbacks and anxiety, into behaviors we don’t understand in ourselves, things we wish we didn’t do — lash out, hide, avoid, get depressed, become lethargic, unable to go on. Untold stories cause ruptures in relationships, ill health, and spiritual or religious crisis, and contribute to a growing sense that our lives are disintegrating into chaos.” You need to find your story.

WRITING FOR NON-WRITERS

Why not try writing? Maybe you’re not a writer. You don’t have to ever show anyone your writing, and it will still work on your heart and mind to reorganize your life. Maybe you don’t have time for this. Ten minutes a day? Really? That’s way shorter than a Facebook minute. Possibly it’s scary to think of putting your life-breaking moments into words. This is your safety net. Are you ready to live a more resilient story? You can get through a crisis. You can survive grief. Repeat: find your story.

THE SAGA OF JANET

A key is finding the place that lies between our hopes and reality.  For example, let’s share the saga of Janet. She is the parent of 2 adult children, Sandy and John. Janet had always imagined that she would have a close family where her adult children deeply loved Christ and nurtured that same love within their own children, Joyce’s grandchildren. She imagined Sunday dinners, like a scene from the TV series “Bluebloods”.

However, Janet’s reality is that she has 2 adult children, only one of whom she feels even remotely close to. As for sharing a same love for Christ, that isn’t even on the table at this point in her children’s adult lives, let alone if they actually provided Janet with grandchildren. The only Bluebloods family dinners she experiences is if she watches a family of actors on TV. Janet’s heartbreak is daily and drains her from finding any joy. Could Janet rewrite her story?

FIND YOUR PLACE AND STYLE

  • Begin by finding a comfortable spot to write. If you want, bring your water bottle, coffee, or tea.
  • Choose a journal, notebook, or computer.
  • Forget about rules — grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Just plan to write.
  • ​Choose a prompt, put your pen to paper (or your fingers on your keyboard), and write for at least five minutes. If you write more, congratulate yourself! If a prompt fails to connect with you, try the next one.
  • Write as often and as much as you dare. Give it your best.
  • ​Then reread and reflect on what you have written. You may be surprised at the stories or thoughts you hold within.
  • ​Work to develop a personal writing practice that works for you. Every writer is unique, and by finding how you write best, you will grow your words and your voice.

This Week’s Writing Prompt: The Tragic Gap

Start by creating “tragic gap statements.” Do this by writing one or more statements that follow this form: “I want to…but I can’t because…” Here are some examples: I want to move, but I can’t because I don’t make enough money. I want to be an actor, but I can’t because I suffer from anxiety when I try to perform. I want to undertake a new challenge, but I can’t because I believe I am too old. Choose a dilemma you are facing. After you write this statement, answer these questions as best you can: What is your dream? What obstacles are making it hard to accomplish your dream? How can you face this challenge? What can you change? Open and close each writing period in prayer.

Freely borrowed from: Sandra Marinella. “The Story You Need to Tell: Writing to Heal from Trauma, Illness, or Loss” Highly recommend this book!

THE POTHOLE

Feelings of dread filled out hearts. This was definitely more than a bump in the road.

We visited the eye specialist thinking it would be an easy fix, like changing my husband Bill’s eye prescription. Earlier that week, Bill admitted that when driving, the single car approaching him on the right now appeared as two separate vehicles.  Not good.  The doctor talked to him for about twenty minutes and immediately scheduled Bill for an emergency deep tissue brain MRI. Feelings of dread filled out hearts. This was definitely more than a bump in the road; this was a giant pothole.

MORE THAN A POTHOLE

Bill is claustrophobic and it took 3 tries before they were able to get him into the narrow tube for the 45-minute-deep tissue MRI.  The technician told us Bill had a brain tumor.  It was Friday, which meant a very long weekend until the appointment with the neurologist Monday morning.  The irony of the situation was that Bill, just a few weeks before, had decided to take a huge step of faith and resign from his ministry position and to become open to wherever God wanted him.  This was bigger than a pothole.

Monday came.  The tumor was a benign pituitary tumor pressing on the optic nerve which was causing the double vision.  It was inoperable.  Hence, the doctor prescribed drug therapy to shrink the tumor.

THE TERROR OF POTHOLES

My husband is not one to jump into decisions (whereas, I often just want to know which particular cliff to jump off of) ……So, in the car, I told Bill I was okay if he wanted to reconsider his previous decision to step out on faith regarding his ministry career.  I still remember the certainty and strength in his voice when he replied, “No, I’m still going to obey.”  That my dear friends is faith.  Stepping into the unknown, especially when the unknown is unfathomable.  Sometimes potholes are terrifying.

OUR TRAVELING COMPANION

Psalm 91 kept going through my head.  “He would dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.”   When Daniel’s friends were in the fiery furnace, it wasn’t like God said “Oh, my goodness!  How in the world did that one happen?!”.  Jesus walked with them through the flames.  God was not walking Bill and me around the fire, God was accompanying us through the fire and through the pit.

FOCUSING OFF THE FIRE

We had to choose to get our focus off the fire and look up to see the face of our Traveling Companion, Jesus.  “The person who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”  Amen and amen!

Have you invited Him to not only join your journey, but to also lead the journey, regardless of the potholes? Listen to the true story of George Whitefield, one who ran through the potholes.