She experience years of agony, longing for a child, yet God refused their requests. Tears streamed down her face as she said:
EVERY MONTH HOPE WAS CRUSHED
“Silence can be deafening. Every fiber of my being longed to hear the cry of a baby. As with Hannah of the Old Testament, my body did not satisfy this longing. We endured an onslaught of invasive tests and treatments and the loss of our baby early in pregnancy. More doctors and drugs and more excruciating, painful silence followed. Every month our hope crushed on the rocks by yet another huge wave of disappointment. The wind and waves of this storm just would not stop. The storm raged on for eight long years……96 months.
NO END IN SIGHT
“Those not knowing our struggle, kept asking when we would start our family. Each inquiry felt like a dagger tearing at our hearts. I plastered a smile on my face during countless baby showers, then wept uncontrollably on the way home. Every Mother’s Day savagely rubbed jagged salt into my bleeding soul. I was absolutely thrilled for my friends and sisters-in-law when I held their babies in the hospital. After those visits, I sobbed as my husband held me at home. When will it be our turn, Lord? This pain burned into my soul, with no end in sight.
WHO DO I TRUST?
“I asked myself, “Do I trust you, Lord? Do I believe You are really in control? Can I be at peace in this storm?” As the Holy Spirit helped me grow into the lyrics, the answer was a resounding “Yes!”. My relationship with God deepened and becamemore intimate. His presence came to bea healing, refreshing place full of joy, despite my circumstances. Worship transformed into something much more meaningful in this storm. God was worthy of our praise and admiration, regardless of our circumstances.”
HONEST QUESTIONS
Eventually, due to a set of events worthy of its own story, my friend unexpectedly became an adoptive mom. The following lyrics best describe her journey. Maybe they describe your current season? Is it time to ask honest questions: “Do I trust you, Lord? Do I believe You are really in control? Can I be at peace in this storm?”
“Praise You in the Storm” by Casting Crowns lyrics are:
I was sure by now God, You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again I say, “A-men” and it’s still rainin’. As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, “I’m with you”. And as Your mercy falls, I’ll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
I’ll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried, You hold in Your hand; You never left my side and though my heart is torn. I will praise You in this storm. I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry, You raised me up again. But my strength is almost gone. How can I carry on if I can’t find You?
You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm. I lift my eyes unto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.
For further suggested meditation: Psalm 121