FEELINGS OF DREAD BUT CHOOSING TO BELIEVE

He immediately scheduled Bill for an emergency deep tissue brain MRI. Feelings of dread filled out hearts.

It was 2004 when we visited the eye specialist. Earlier that week, Bill admitted that when driving, the single car approaching him on the right now appeared as two separate vehicles.  Not good.  The doctor talked to him for about twenty minutes and immediately scheduled Bill for an emergency deep tissue brain MRI. Feelings of dread filled out hearts.

THE BRAIN TUMOR

Bill is claustrophobic and it took 3 tries before they were able to get him into the narrow tube for the 45-minute-deep tissue MRI.  The technician told us Bill had a brain tumor.  It was Friday, which meant a very long weekend until the appointment with the neurologist Monday morning.  The irony of the situation was that just a few weeks before, Bill had decided to take a huge step of faith and resign from his ministry position.  He wanted to be open to wherever God wanted him. This was an unexpected development. 

WHERE WAS THIS HEADED?

Monday came.  The tumor was a benign pituitary tumor pressing on the optic nerve which was causing the double vision.  It was inoperable.  Hence, the doctor prescribed drug therapy to shrink the tumor. Where was this all headed?

STILL CHOOSING TO OBEY

My husband is not one to jump into decisions (whereas, I often just want to know which particular cliff to jump off of) ……So, in the car, I told Bill I was okay if he wanted to reconsider his previous decision to step out on faith regarding his ministry career.  I still remember the certainty and strength in his voice when he replied, “No, I’m still going to obey.”  That my dear friends is faith.  Stepping into the what may be unknown, but taking God at His Word. 

JESUS WALKED WITH THEM THROUGH THE FLAMES

Psalm 91 kept going through my head.  He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.”  When Daniel’s friends were in the fiery furnace, it wasn’t like God said “Oh, my goodness!  How in the world did that one happen?!” Jesus walked with them through the flames. 

WE COULD TRUST GOD, REGARDLESS

God was not walking Bill and me around the fire, God was accompanying us through the fire.  We could trust God, regardless of the diagnosis because He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.” 

WE KNEW WHO WAS TRAVELING WITH US

We chose to get our focus off the fire and look up to see the face of our Traveling Companion, Jesus. We chose to obey. “The person who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”  The future was unknown, but we knew Who was traveling with us.

Author: Jacquelin Stoner

I have had years of walking alongside of individuals, encouraging those who want to change, but need help navigating to the better place God has envisioned for their lives. I believe Christ is central to genuine lasting life change.

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