Tag: Life Coaching

A PLANTING SEASON

“Planting: How to create a powerful mindset that anticipates comebacks”

“You are not your label!” That’s on the cover of Demi Tebow’s book, “A Crown That Lasts”. Of course, as I’m glancing at the cover picture, I don’t think it would hurt to be labeled as blond, gorgeous, and a former Miss Universe. So, what in the world do I have in common with Tim Tebow’s wife? (By the way, he is also gorgeous and athletic)

MINDSET THAT ANTICIPATES COMEBACKS

Halfway through the book is a section entitled “Planting: How to create a powerful mindset that anticipates comebacks”. Though we are life experiences apart (I will never be Miss Universe), Demi has a section which deals with the concept of reframing. Rather than looking back at something that hurt deeply and bearing those scars as permanent handicaps, instead look back and begin to pull some positive things you learned.

THE TRUCKLOAD OF HURTS

For example, when I was growing up my parents were absentee parents. It was not a deliberate choice, but they had me later in life and were both workaholics. They were either not present to communicate or else not mentally present to communicate. In some ways they loved me, but their love language in no way coincided with mine. I developed a truckload of hurts I carried around for years because of this.

To illustrate, when I had my first boyfriend, not only did my mom and I never talk about him, but she never asked me what we were doing or where we were. She was mentally absent when I really needed a mom. I was naive as naive can be.

So, dial forward many many years. What positive things can I reframe those hurts with? What good came out of those experiences? I woke up in the middle of the night and began thanking God for these results of my experience:

I decided that when I had children, I would parent by not doing what my mom did.

I learned to write, because there was no one at home who wanted to hear me.

They drove me to God as my Protector.

I learned that no one is going to come in to fix things for me, so no matter what the project is, whether a craft, mechanical, or electronic, I can usually figure out the logic.

THE CHALLENGE

All of these things I am deeply grateful for. I challenge you this week. Pull one of those dark memories from your past and try to begin reframing how you see it. I’m not saying to ignore the hurt. I’m asking what positive things or experiences came about to make that a planting season, rather than a season of complete devastation. It is surprising some positive thoughts that can come about in the middle of the night.

But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength! (Ephesians 1:18-19)

RECIPE FOR RESENTMENT, BITTERNESS OR HATRED

You can be free of resentment

“If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free.

“Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway.

“Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.”

From “God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours” by Regina Brett

Listen to the story of a Rwandan Genocide Survivor

WHAT TO DO IN A SEASON OF DOUBT

Like the Israelites, have you forgotten Who you believe?

What bestseller begins with: “And these are the names of”? Exodus chapter one does not seek to be on the Times Bestseller list. The author reminds us this is the saga of the family chosen to play a crucial role in God’s plan for the salvation of mankind. God takes childless, elderly Abraham and Sarah and makes them the ancestors of a family which ends up numbering in the millions. Abraham and Sarah trust God even when they could not see the future.

THE PERFECT PETRI DISH

In His plans, God often relocates people. If the twelve brothers from Genesis had remained in pagan Canaan, good chance that they would have intermarried with the Canaanites. That would have been the spiritual end of God’s chosen people. By God’s grace, He relocates them via famine and Joseph to Egypt. God then takes advantage of Egypt’s racial bias. David Guzik notes: “Egypt had such an entrenched system of racial separation that Israel could grow there over several centuries without being assimilated.” This made the perfect petri dish for growing God’s people numerically, to the great alarm of the new Pharoah in Exodus 1.

THE PROMISE

Centuries before, God told Abraham: “Know for certain that for four hundred years your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own and that they will be enslaved and mistreated there.  But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward they will come out with great possessions (Genesis 15:13-14) It appears that while living 400 years in Egypt many of Abraham’s descendants forgot God’s promise. The Egyptian Pharoah certainly did not know or believe the promise.

GOD CIRCUMVENTS PHARAOH

Pharaoh did not know The Promise keeper. So agitated at the population growth of the Hebrews, he tells the Hebrew midwives to kill the newborn boys. The midwives do not cooperate. Pharaoh makes a far more radical command. All male babies be murdered by drowning in the river. His plan would effectively eliminate the Hebrews within one generation. The miracle is that the method Pharaoh commanded for the death of the male babies of Israel becomes the divine provision for saving the deliverer of Israel: Moses. God, the Promise Keeper, circumvents Pharoah’s plans for evil and ends up rescuing millions of Jewish people.

THE REAL BATTLE

The real battle in Exodus includes God in the equation. That changes everything. Pharaoh didn’t understand Who he was fighting. Many of the Jewish people did not realize Who Pharaoh was dealing with. Do you know this God of the Universe Who loves you?

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHO YOU BELIEVE?

Like the Israelites, have you forgotten Who you believe? The beginning of Exodus may seem smooth sailing. “We think, ‘Oh, boy! It’s going to get really bad, and they’re going to have to make bricks without straw, but that’s just setting it up for when God’s going to come. It’s going to be so sweet when he gets them out!’ The Hebrews didn’t know that. They lived as slaves for 400 years. That’s a long time to keep believing the promises.” (Kevin DeYoung)

TRY THIS LITTLE EXERCISE

Do you feel like the slaves of Egypt? How about trying one little exercise. Begin this season of doubt by daily working on memorizing and believing the words of Psalm 121:1-8. I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from?My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

WHITE KNUCKLE FEAR

“Don’t worry” is not Jesus’ polite little suggestion for Christian wannabes. 

Who over the past few years has not gone through periods of speculation? A situation approaches (whether something scheduled in the next day’s events or an item that slithers into your heart as a vague possibility). Maybe it is that upcoming meeting with the boss or that memorable TV newsflash on how many people have been diagnosed with serious flu in the adjoining town?

FEAR THAT WAKES YOU UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

These are large fears, not my little fears wondering whether people will notice that I’m wearing two different colors of shoes (one being navy and the other being black). This is white knuckle fear. It wakes you up in the middle of the night and robs you of being able to breathe deeply. All joy runs away. Faith goes up in flames. However, in reality, the actual event has yet to happen.

Just want you to know, you are not alone.

ROBBED OF RESILIENCE

The pandemic and the resulting changes in our world robbed us of resilience. We lost the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. Situations once not considered formidable clobbered us. Speculation has gained a great deal of dangerous power, all at our own personal expense. The faith ship sinks. 

BIG CHANGES AT WORK

I have a friend who went through turmoil at work.  Her boss kept telling the employees that “big changes are going to happen imminently”. However, the “imminent” drug into weeks.  At work, usually “big changes” mean big sacrifices at the employees’ expense.  So, fears among her co-workers amped up into hyper mode. Speculation ran amuck.  My friend is a believer. A few years back she had the reserves to take a “wait and see” attitude.  The problem is that she has lost her capacity to put speculation on the back burner. 

THE SPECULATION BAN

Did you know that Jesus banned speculation?  So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:34) This “don’t worry” is not Jesus’ polite little suggestion for Christian wannabes.  It is a command. Jesus is saying, “Look, if you trust me enough to take care of you for eternity, will you trust me enough to take care of those events that have not even happened yet?”  We need resilience.

HOW TO BUILD RESILIENCE

John Eldredge writes:  “You can start building mental resilience right here, by roping in speculation. Every time you find yourself speculating, tell yourself to stop it! Bring your thoughts back under control: I’m not indulging in speculation. It’s godless. Turn your thoughts immediately to God: You are good, Father. You are with me. You are still in control.”

This is not a quick and easy fix, it is a discipline which can only be learned by letting the Holy Spirit take charge of how we view life, even as it is only today.  Jesus says, “Deal with the present, not with speculating over the future.” He wants to rid us of white-knuckle fear over what has not happened. Will you let Him? 

Click to read what the Bible has to say about anxiety

IS IT A WONDERFUL LIFE?

George’s darkness is totally understandable. It is easy to remember failures.

“It’s A Wonderful Life” is not the most theologically correct movie, but it is one of my favorites. George Pratt, the central character, is so distraught that he contemplates suicide as the only solution. He stands ready to jump off a bridge on Christmas Eve when he hears the voice of a gentle stranger. George tells the man that he wishes he had never been born. George is at the end of his rope.

For years, George had tried to do the right thing. He sacrificed his dreams of college and a future for the sake of taking care of his family. George takes over his father’s credit union and saves it from bankruptcy by donating all his savings to keep the business afloat. You gotta love George, he is steadfast. However, his archenemy gains the upper hand. Everything goes down the drain. The bank auditor makes an appearance on the day that they discover $8,000 is missing from the credit union. George is angry, crushed, and disillusioned. He only sees darkness. George finally cries out to God.

GEORGE’S WISH OF NEVER BEING BORN

The stranger on the bridge tells George his wish has been granted and that George has never been born. The movie then gives George a glimpse of all the lives he has tirelessly helped through the years. George also sees what would have happened if he had not entered their stories: the town would have gone down the drain. George influenced countless lives, but never sees it until he cries out to God.

IT IS EAST TO REMEMBER FAILURES

As I write this, it is almost New Years, one of my favorite holidays of the year. I always think about new beginnings, especially if it has been a difficult year. It is easy to remember the people I tried to help, but to no avail. I visualize all the situations in which I failed and plain messed up. George’s darkness is totally understandable. It is easy to remember failures.

TIME TO TURN THE PAGE

Maybe it is time to turn the page. This is a wonderful time to catch up on anything that needs to be confessed and make right with God and others. A great next step is getting a pen to start writing a list of people whose lives you have impacted for the God during 2024. Maybe you received no fanfare or plaudits for your actions, but you know you obeyed God, even when it was hard. If the list is miniscule, do you need to expand your list of those you serve?

WHAT IS YOUR GIFT?

How about making this your aim and attitude for 2025: God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! (I Peter 4:10-11)

IT CAN BE A WONDERFUL LIFE

Don’t be George, waiting to jump off the bridge. God has a unique purpose for you. It may not be what you had planned, but in God’s eyes it is important. Just make sure that everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. It’s a wonderful life. Get off the bridge!

https://compelledpodcast.com/episodes/steve-richardson

WHEN CHAOS COMES TO TOWN

How is a believer to manage life when one’s mind is racing, and the future appears bleak?

Read: I Peter 5:6-11

I worked in a small office consisting of five employees (counting myself). Four of them were on anti-anxiety meds. They would regularly compare how their meds were working and the dosage required.

I pondered how 80% of my fellow employees were 24/7 on anti-anxiety meds. So, what was up with that? Something in the drinking water or something in the air?

AS AN ADVERSITY MAGNET…

As the only one who was not medicated, please note that I’m not a strong person and make no claims to being so. My life can be a circus. At times I feel like an adversity magnet. The past few months have especially appeared so. Circumstances and people stampede through my living room, heart, and soul. How is a believer to manage life when one’s mind is racing, and the future appears bleak?

DECISION TIME

Those moments are decision time. Who/what am I battling? It is not the people or situations I’m facing; it’s the enemy who would like me to renounce Jesus. That may sound melodramatic to you, but it’s true. Satan’s chief goal is to make believers flake out, run away, forsake the faith. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour. Yes, your scariest human adversaries may wish for your demise, but they are not the ones pulling the strings. Satan is.

WHAT TO DO WHEN FACING CONFLICT

What does God tell us to do in such a conflict? Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. In other words, choose to allow the Holy Spirit to reign in your mind. Don’t impulsively blurt out the first words that come to mind. Refuse to send out a nastygram text, zone out on TV, or punch a hole in the wall.  Afterall, you are not alone in this battle. None of our current struggles are new to believers. We have a universal family of fellow combatants. Christians around the globe join us in this battle.

STANDING FIRM WHEN THE LION ROARS

God’s Word tells us to take a stand when the lion roars. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. Exactly how is this to play out? Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God [set aside self-righteous pride], so that He may exalt you [to a place of honor in His service] at the appropriate time, casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].

MY DECISION

When that crazy destructive circus of circumstances and individuals desire to capsize my life, I kneel before the feet of God. I choose to fill my mind with the promises of God and proclaim directly that I’m taking God at His Word. There is a decision involved. I disregard how dire the circumstances appear, run to the Father and completely believe His Word. God is my anti-anxiety medicine, even when chaos comes to town.

Listen to the story of Aimee Huber

THE NIGHT THAT WAS NOT SO SILENT

We knew this was serious. It wasn’t long before the question was not if he would be deployed, but rather when.

“Silent Night, Holy Night, All is calm, All is bright,” and so, the beloved carol begins. But all was not calm in December of 1990. Four months earlier, Iraq had invaded Kuwait, setting off a chain of events that we feared could lead to war. As the world watched the situation unfold with unease, for me and my husband, the impending threat of war hit closer to home. Mike was a soldier in the Army National Guard. We knew this was serious. It wasn’t long before the question was not if he would be deployed, but rather when.

CHOOSING BETWEEN TRUST AND FEAR

In the midst of the uncertainty, our first child was born in mid-October. We were thrilled at our son’s birth and worked hard to stay focused on enjoying each moment. Even though I had an extended maternity leave to settle into the joys, and sleepless nights, of motherhood, it was a daily struggle. I had to choose between my trust in God’s providence and a real fear of what was to come.

THE REALITY OF SEPARATION

In November, Mike received his orders. He would train for a few weeks at Ft. Indiantown Gap and then set off for the Middle East. We were blessed to find out that he would be home for Christmas, but our joy at the coming celebration of Christ’s birth was greatly overshadowed by the reality of separation that lay ahead.

At the Christmas Eve Candlelight Service, words of kindness and love poured over us as we chatted with those in our congregation. I treasured the sincere promises of prayers for our family. But I could not shake the heavy weight of sadness in my heart. Would this be our last Christmas together? How was I going to make it through the separation?

MARY FACED AN UNPREDICTABLE FUTURE

Is this what Mary felt as she held her babe in her arms that night? She also faced an unpredictable future. The uncertainty was overwhelming. As we began to sing Silent Night and light the candles, my outward calm veneer cracked and the tears that I had been fighting began pouring out. Holding our son in my arms, Mike and I wept silently together.

WE WERE NOT ALONE

In that moment I felt God’s almighty presence. I knew that we were not alone. God would see us through whatever was to come. Psalm 46:1 promises us, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

It has been almost 34 years since that Christmas Eve, and yet every time I sing Silent Night and light a candle to celebrate Jesus’ birth, the memory of that night brings tears to my eyes. I remember God’s faithfulness in that situation and in all the years afterward. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be silent, and know that I am God.” In the silence of the little town of Bethlehem, Jesus was born. And as we rest silently in the Lord, we are assured of His presence and care over us.

Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright.  Round yon virgin mother and child;  Holy Infant so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace.

Silent night, holy night, shepherds quake at the sight. Glories stream from heaven afar; heavenly hosts sing halleluiah! Christ the Savior is born. Christ the Savior is born!

Silent night, holy night, Son of God, love’s pure light. Radiant beams from Thy holy face; with the dawn of redeeming grace. Jesus Lord at Thy birth. Jesus Lord at Thy birth!

LET ALL MORTAL FLESH KEEP SILENT

1,747 years of our repeatedly being told to be quiet, hushed before God

The lyrics to this hymn date back at least to 275 AD. Do the math, that’s 1, 747 years of our repeatedly being told to be quiet, hushed, and to be so in awe that we are left speechless. That is a huge quantity of silence.

WE CAN’T ADD TO GOD’S GIFT

What are we to be in awe about? When we realize that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, we can do to add to God’s gift; nothing that we can do to make it better. In astonishment, we are to fall on our faces in full worship mode, witnessing to all creation that He alone is due full honor and respect.

THE ANGELS UNDERSTOOD THE PRICE TO BE PAID

The angels understood the sacrifice when Christ came to this earth to be born as a man. In horror, they knew in vivid detail what our world was like. Can you imagine the expression on their faces when they looked down at our earth? They understood the price required to finally and totally wipe out the debt for our sin. The price paid by Christ to make us His own.

THE MYSTERY AND THE WONDER IN “GOD WITH US”

Do you think a holy hush went through heaven when the gift was given, when heaven heard that newborn’s cry in the stable? The angels comprehended the undeserved blessing that had been given to mankind.  They could not fathom God’s love for us. There are no words that can adequately describe the mystery, the wonder, and the homage due to the Christ becoming Emmanuel, God with us. Let all mortal flesh keep silence, and with fear and trembling stand. Be quiet, hushed and so in awe that you are left speechless.

Let all mortal flesh keep silence, and with fear and trembling stand; Ponder nothing earthly-minded, for with blessing in His hand, Christ our God to earth descendeth, our full homage to demand.

O COME, O COME EMMANUEL

God said, “I shall be with you tomorrow”. This is not a casual, “See ‘ya later, alligator!”

Who would have thought that the original text for this Latin chant contained a reverse acrostic (called an “ere cras”). Translated: “I shall be with you tomorrow”. This is not a casual, “See ‘ya later, alligator!” This was a promise made by the Eternal God of His presence. That’s why God gave His Son the name Emmanuel which literally means “God with us”.

GROWING IN CONFIDENT HOPE

The lyrics of this chant were written around the 8th century and meant to be sung antiphonally which would entail alternate singing by two choirs, often on opposite sides of the sanctuary. The first choir would sing O come, O come, Emmanuel and while the sound waves still resonated across the expanse, the 2nd choir would begin singing And ransom captive Israel. And so, they would alternately sing line after line, ever growing in confidant hope, as the building reverberated with the glorious sounds.

FROM MOURNING TO REJOICING

Their words commemorated a people who had literally been mourning in lonely exile from God. Then all heaven broke loose singing the Son of God appears! Rejoice! Rejoice! Break out in rapture, exuberant song, cheering jubilation! This is not the half-hearted clapping for someone receiving a participation award. This is the full throttle universal stamping of feet because God has won! The highway leading to eternal separation from God now offered an off-ramp leading to eternal community, companionship, and peace with God.

GOD WITH US

For all of you longing, hungering for God, His promise has been fulfilled. O Lord, make safe the way that leads to Thee and close the path to misery. God is with us!

O come, O come, Emmanuel and ransom captive Israel. That mourns in lonely exile here until the Son of God appears. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, oh Israel” O come, Thou Key of David, come and open wide our heavenly home. Make safe the way that leads to thee and close the path to misery. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, oh Israel

WHAT CHILD IS THIS?

As a teenager, I stood out on my back porch and wondered if I had any personal connection to God.

As a teenager, I stood out on my back porch and wondered if I had any personal connection to God. Earlier that night at youth group, the leader asked us individually to pray out loud during the meeting. I realized I didn’t know who I was praying to.

WHAT DID MARY’S QUESTION MEAN?

Mary had her own questions, “What child is this who lay to rest on Mary’s lap is sleeping” This was first asked by Mary. From the very beginning Mary knew that this child was going to be incredibly special, but what did that exactly mean?

THE AUTHOR OF THIS CAROL

William Chatterton Dix wrote this carol in 1865. He worked for an insurance company until afflicted by a life-threatening illness. His illness caused him to go into a severe depression, wanting to give up on life. But God had other plans.

Dix discovered a Bible during this time and began to read it. Writing this hymn and combining it with the truths of scripture were able to bring Dix to a fuller understanding about the question, “What child is this.” This is the same question Mary had from the very beginning; the same question the shepherds had; the same question I asked on my back porch. Over the centuries countless individuals have pondered this.

THE ANSWER TO ALL QUESTIONS

And then the writer gives the only answer he can: This, this is Christ the King, whom shepherds guard and angels sing, haste, haste, to bring him laud, the babe, the Son of Mary.

THE SOURCE OF ALL WISDOM

Make this a special Christmas; don’t just sing the song that asks: What child is this? But for the first time admit that He is Christ the King. Discover when you are depressed and lost, the King is the only One that can help. Realize that when you have questions about life and family and personal struggles, the King is ready to give answers through His Word, the Bible. He helped Mary and William Dix. And He helped me standing on my back porch to become a child of God.

What Child is this who, laid to rest on Mary’s lap is sleeping?
Whom Angels greet with anthems sweet, While shepherds watch are keeping? This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing; Haste, haste, to bring Him laud, the Babe, the Son of Mary.