Slowly ponder Romans 8:38-39
Edgar Allan Poe described a gigantic circular vortex that reaches the bottom of the ocean in his short story “A Descent into the Maelström“. This tale this story relates to the Lofoten Maelstrom, as two fishermen are swallowed by the vortex.
A GRINDING STREAM OF LIFE’S TROUBLES
What words would I choose to describe the journey we have been traveling since November 25, 2025? The word “maelstrom” isn’t in the Bible, but it’s used in Christian contexts to describe intense spiritual or emotional turmoil, like a powerful whirlpool, symbolizing confusion, crisis, or being overwhelmed. It represents the “grinding stream” of life’s troubles; a vortex of massive force which threatens to obliterate.
SWIRLING IN THE STREAM
Our entrance into the maelstrom began with Bill’s first admission to the hospital the Tuesday before Thanksgiving 2025. I distinctly recall the first time the doctor said the words “fluid surrounding the heart and lungs; congestive heart failure”. Then our reactions when another specialist said, “kidney failure”, “will probably have to go on emergency dialysis”. As we swirled in the grinding stream, there was Thanksgiving spent in the hospital and Christmas which was not celebrated due a further hospitalization. Then there were the long nights between and after hospital stays when I put my hand on Bill’s chest just to make sure he was still breathing.
Lots of possibilities for fear, especially when one specialist gives a diagnosis and another one contradicts it. So many unknowns in this grinding stream. Since the beginning of this, Bill has lost 1/6th of his body weight and his blood pressure still zooms over the map. Getting food into him is a struggle since his ongoing trouble with swallowing and gagging beginning with the 2nd hospitalization. Every day we battle exhaustion.
BATTLING FEAR
Yes, I daily encounter fear. This past Friday we had an appointment with the cardiologist certain she was going to admit him yet again to the hospital. Afraid of more bloodwork, bad tests, bad news. Afraid we won’t have the strength to endure. I run with a continual sense of exhaustion.
LAYING MY FEARS
Amid the maelstrom, our boat circles the vortex, and that’s when I continue to choose to lay my fears before God. My Father knows us and loves us, even though by far I flunk the superwoman test. Fear continually tugs at the ragged edges of my soul.
CHOOSING TO SUBMIT
In the path of obedience, I choose to submit. I cannot handle any of this without the Comforter, the Holy Spirit. Only He can cast out my fears. And so I go to sleep each night knowing that tomorrow is another day and even in the grinding stream, He promises to be sufficient to keep me on course. We are those two fishermen caught in the current. He has not forgotten us. He is my Love, my Light, my Joy.
