I check out when triggered. Often, I bury myself in work. This past Election Day triggered me. So many emotions swirled around in my head. The neighbors heard me as I ran my electric sander on the back porch by the hour. I worked non-stop refinishing a piece of furniture. Usually, I spend at least an entire week on a project like that. That was not the case this time as I sanded and prayed by the hour.
SEASON OF LOSS
Physical work helps me not to think about all I have lost the past few years. The pain can be agonizing. I’ve lost friends because I dare to believe in the sanctity of life; lost friends who have developed a very short fuse (so I avoid them) due to the upheaval in our country. And there are those who think I’m a moron for still believing God’s Word is true. You get the point. It’s been a season of loss.
POPULARITY IS NOT GOD’S GAME PLAN
This hurts. I value relationships and people and of course I like it when people think well of me. Apparently being popular was never God’s game plan for me.
THE ROCK AND THE HARD PLACE
It’s hard because I’m caught between a Rock and a hard place. God is the Rock and relationships can be the hard place. How can I be a truth teller when no matter how gently I speak the words, someone gets upset with what God says?
GOD HEARS MY WORKING PRAYERS
On the other hand, I know I will explode if I disobey God and keep silent when He asks me to speak or obey Him in behavior. And so I go to my back porch, and work by the hour, and pray by the minute.
My work resulted in a lovely desk. God hears my working prayers.
But if I say I’ll never mention the Lord or speak in his name, his Word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones! I am worn out trying to hold it in! I can’t do it! (Jeremiah 20:9)