Tag: CASTING CROWNS

WHO DO I TRUST?

The wind and waves of this storm just would not stop.  The storm raged on for eight long years……96 months.

She experience years of agony, longing for a child, yet God refused their requests. Tears streamed down her face as she said:

EVERY MONTH HOPE WAS CRUSHED

“Silence can be deafening.  Every fiber of my being longed to hear the cry of a baby. As with Hannah of the Old Testament, my body did not satisfy this longing.  We endured an onslaught of invasive tests and treatments and the loss of our baby early in pregnancy.  More doctors and drugs and more excruciating, painful silence followed. Every month our hope crushed on the rocks by yet another huge wave of disappointment. The wind and waves of this storm just would not stop.  The storm raged on for eight long years……96 months.

NO END IN SIGHT

“Those not knowing our struggle, kept asking when we would start our family. Each inquiry felt like a dagger tearing at our hearts.  I plastered a smile on my face during countless baby showers, then wept uncontrollably on the way home.  Every Mother’s Day savagely rubbed jagged salt into my bleeding soul. I was absolutely thrilled for my friends and sisters-in-law when I held their babies in the hospital. After those visits, I sobbed as my husband held me at home. When will it be our turn, Lord? This pain burned into my soul, with no end in sight.

WHO DO I TRUST?

“I asked myself, “Do I trust you, Lord? Do I believe You are really in control? Can I be at peace in this storm?” As the Holy Spirit helped me grow into the lyrics, the answer was a resounding “Yes!”. My relationship with God deepened and becamemore intimate. His presence came to bea healing, refreshing place full of joy, despite my circumstances. Worship transformed into something much more meaningful in this storm.  God was worthy of our praise and admiration, regardless of our circumstances.”

HONEST QUESTIONS

Eventually, due to a set of events worthy of its own story, my friend unexpectedly became an adoptive mom. The following lyrics best describe her journey. Maybe they describe your current season? Is it time to ask honest questions: “Do I trust you, Lord? Do I believe You are really in control? Can I be at peace in this storm?”

“Praise You in the Storm” by Casting Crowns lyrics are:

I was sure by now God, You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again I say, “A-men” and it’s still rainin’. As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, “I’m with you”. And as Your mercy falls, I’ll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

I’ll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried, You hold in Your hand; You never left my side and though my heart is torn. I will praise You in this storm. I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry, You raised me up again. But my strength is almost gone. How can I carry on if I can’t find You?

You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm. I lift my eyes unto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.

For further suggested meditation: Psalm 121

I’LL PRAISE YOU IN THE STORM

The year 2011 birthed one of the darkest points in our ministry, family, and individual lives

I was sure by now God, You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. And once again I say, “A-men” but it’s still raining’. As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, “I’m with you”. As Your mercy falls I’ll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I’ll praise You in this storm for You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand. You never left my side, and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm. (“Praise You In The Storm” by Casting Crowns)

AND THEN THE YEAR CAME…

The year 2011 birthed one of the darkest points in our ministry, family, and individual lives. Without warning, Bill was dismissed from the church he pastored due to a lack of gifts in the offering plate and infighting within the church. After forty-two years in ministry, my husband found himself without a church. Bill stumbled into crushing depression. I plummeted into the same hole; however, I was the one who hunted with all her strength a way to glue the pieces together.

INFECTED FESTERING WOUNDS

For years, church was closer to us than our biological family. Church supplied purpose, love and stability. I felt like a limb had been ripped off without anesthesia. The emotional and spiritual wounds became infected. They festered and clouded our vision. Now with only one income, we eventually lost our house and most of our retirement savings. Humiliation surfaced as we struggled through that first Christmas where I repurposed household items as Christmas presents. Ever present in my heart resonated my greatest fear, that we would become homeless.

THE CHOICE

As my emotional state deteriorated, I realized I had to make a choice, either to trust God or deny Him. This was not an emotional choice; it was a decision based on the facts of Who God is. I decided to draw the line in the sane and to trust God.

CHOOSING TO TRUST

How could I reinforce my choice to trust? During daily walks I began to memorize Scripture dwelling on Who God is. As I tread the sidewalks of Lancaster during lunch, I kept repeating one phrase, “I choose to trust in You.”

Did I feel warm and fuzzy? No. The time felt endless as we waited, waited, and waited for God to work both on our hearts and our circumstances. I kept repeating “I choose to trust in You.” With all my heart, I wanted God to return life to the happier, predictable, and comfortable past. God didn’t choose that direction.

I’M WITH YOU

“I was sure by now God, You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. And once again I say, “A-men” but it’s still raining’. As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, “I’m with you”.”

IN THE END, IT IS BETTER

God all the time was at work, but I often could not see Him. He supplied our need for alternative housing. He introduced us to new friends and gave us both new careers and ministries. Nothing was like we envisioned, but in the end, it is better. And I’ll praise You in this storm for You are who You are, no matter where I am.  

LIVING IN THE SHELTER OF THE MOST HIGH

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him. (Psalm 91:1-2)