Emotionally intelligent people are not just self-regulated, they’re self-motivated. This means they’re willing to do things like take responsibility for their actions. If you want to become more responsible, stop blaming others. Blame is the opposite of responsibility. So what do you do when things go wrong? When someone lets you down? Or when something beyond your control halts progress? Well, that’s when you assume responsibility. Even if it’s not your fault (which is exactly why you’re ‘assuming’ it). When things go wrong, say this: “I’m a grown-up, I’m responsible.” Often I may not even have caused the problem. But that isn’t the point. I’m responsible. I need to figure out how to push past the problem. Blame is not an option. So take responsibility and move forward. It’s amazing how freeing that can be. Why? Because nobody blamed them. Good people will often own up rather than run and hide.