I have a disability: “Calendaritis”. In Jacqui’s dictionary, it is defined as “Fear regarding setting and remembering dates in one’s personal calendar because they have either written in the wrong date, the wrong time, or not written it at all. Furthermore, sometimes one can have the correct date and time written, but do not remember the appointment.”
This is an extremely humbling disability. It is partially due to my rush to get things done and often due to my eye condition in which I cannot read straight across a page due to my one eye seeing at a slant. Therefore, I can be reading across a week on my written calendar and hop down a week without realizing it. I cannot tell you the number of times I have had to apologize to someone for getting my dates mixed up.
I recently had a friend who I had a date with on a Friday. She later texted me regarding our date for Saturday. I checked my earlier texts and confirmed that indeed I had texted that our date was for Friday. Cannot tell you the joy I had in discovering a kindred soul!!!! Someone who also gets dates mixed up. I am not alone!
I AM A BROKEN VESSEL
So why am I writing this? Because in my own life it goes hand in hand with the verse in II Corinthians 1:9b: that we might not rely on ourselves but on God Who raises the dead”. The Apostle Paul was certainly dealing with more severe difficulties than me, but the verse hits home in that it pertains to my own weaknesses and my frustrations when I get things wrong. I have learned that I have to “suck it up” so to speak and rely totally on Jesus, even in regarding my problems with reading a calendar. I am a broken vessel, the earthenware jar referred to in II Corinthians 4:7: This priceless treasure we hold, so to speak, in a common earthenware jar—to show that the splendid power of it belongs to God and not to us. We are handicapped on all sides, but we are never frustrated; we are puzzled, but never in despair.
Furthermore, in II Corinthians 12 the Apostle Paul wrote when totally frustrated by his own disability: “His (Jesus’) reply has been, “My grace is enough for you: for where there is weakness, My power is shown the more completely.” Therefore, I (the Apostle Paul) have cheerfully made up my mind to be proud of my weaknesses, because they mean a deeper experience of the power of Christ. I can even enjoy weaknesses, suffering, privations, persecutions and difficulties for Christ’s sake. For my very weakness makes me strong in Him.
HE CAN USE MY WEAKNESSES TO DISPLAY HIMSELF
What Paul wrote is what I live. I know a lot of my weaknesses and sometimes they can be terribly embarrassing. I try and try, but they still pop up and are evident to all. The wonderful thing about Jesus is that when I acknowledge my weaknesses and rely on His power, He can use them to display Himself. The times when I come to terms with my weaknesses are the times I run to Him for His power and HE IS GOOD!.
So will I continue to make mistakes in my calendar, even when I try my best? Yes!!!! But “My very weakness makes me strong in Him”. I admit the error, give it up to Jesus, and go on. I have to swallow my pride and hand it over to Him. What can you hand over to Him?