A few years ago, I lost my hearing. No, it wasn’t the physical hearing associated with all the tiny bones in the ear. I lost the ability to hear God’s voice. Life circumstances had plummeted to rock bottom. Where was God in the middle of it? Had He moved a million miles away with no forwarding address? I thought God zigged when I zagged. He left me in a dark forest with no path, no compass and no flashlight to find my way out. All I wanted was for life to become normal again. I wanted my life rebuilt on my terms. Where was God?
THE DEPRESSION
For quite a while I sank into a deep depression. Anger and panic became my closest friends. Why wouldn’t God clarify exactly how He was going to restore my life? My support system had been washed away. This painful period took far longer than I ever wished.
STEPS TOWARD RESTORATION
That’s when I started to slowly begin looking for the path God laid before me; that which I previously refused to acknowledge. I wanted my life to be reset to its old modes, but God said, “No.” When I finally demanding life as I imagined it, God began to clearly speak, but on His terms. He pushed me to view life with gratitude, even for the smallest things. I slowed down and read His Words no longer because I was supposed to teach them, but because they became my river of strength. Even church attendance transformed into a thing of beauty, not a place of obligation. God was there all the time, I just had refused listen to His quiet voice.
THE FABRIC OF MY NEW LIFE
All those lovely and vital parts of God’s screenplay that I had missed, became the very fabric of my new life. What at first I considered a great tragedy transformed into one of the greatest gifts I ever received.
GOD’S WHISPER
For all of you who find yourself in the midst of crushing defeat, disappointment and failure, I want to let you know that there is hope. The pain may be excruciating right now but I beg you to hold on and ride out the tide. When you feel like you can no longer hang on and you can’t hear God’s voice, quiet down and listen. The prophet Elijah had to listen for the whisper. God is here. (I Kings 19:11-12)
